


Warning Sign

by kzam



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-13 23:50:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 24,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3400763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kzam/pseuds/kzam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Zack and Cloud fall in love, they both know they have a big problem - or, three big problems. Cloud has no romantic interest in Zack's boyfriends, and Zack doesn't like the idea of Cloud joining his relationship. ASG/ZC</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> So, thanks for checking this out. This story will be a two-shot...the rest is actually written already, so you can expect part two soon. I just need to edit it still.
> 
> The description was a bit vague, so I want to give y'all fair warning - ASGZC shippers beware – this story does not end with the OT5 together.
> 
> Just to be clear, ASGZC is actually my favorite pairing, so I find writing and posting this now...very peculiar to be honest. I hope y'all like it for what it is, and since the ending is written already, I can promise you this: all the characters will be happy in their current situation/relationship by the end of Part Two.

* * *

The man in his arms was not one of his boyfriends.

He didn't need to open his eyes to know that. Even if he hadn't recognized the different feel of this body, it wasn't a position he slept in with his boyfriends—with Angeal, they would have both been on their sides. He would have been pulled firmly into the man's warm arms, his back nuzzled against that perfectly chiseled chest while strong arms held him close and powerful legs framed the curve of his ass. The larger man  _always_ woke up first, and he'd give the younger SOLDIER a playful and loving squeeze to let him know—then he'd offer to make breakfast if either had time.

Sephiroth preferred to sleep on his back—something about it being better for his posture, and so Zack would always curl up on his side, edged closely into the crevice of a single arm with his head resting comfortably on the man's shirtless chest. A gentle hand would trail across his back as he listened to the steady beat of the man's heart, sending him into a serene sleep with ease. He'd usually awaken in the same position, but always kept his eyes closed until the general murmured that he could detect a change in the younger SOLDIER's breathing and knew he was awake as a result.

With Genesis, it varied. On most nights, they'd attempt cuddling—often times they'd swap who would be the big spoon and who would be the little spoon. The man had too many moods, but Zack liked mixing it up anyway. More often than not, it didn't matter how they fell asleep—it was how they woke up that was special. Regardless of their sleeping position, somehow they'd always wake up on their sides facing one another, legs layered together in an oddly comfortable fashion, and arms draped around each other, pulling one another closer. Sometimes he suspected the redhead snuck out of bed before he woke up, just to freshen up…Genesis always looked perfect laying there, almost unnaturally so for someone who had just slept for however many hours. Zack never accused him of that though—instead he would just take the time to appreciate his boyfriend's features with a smile that only grew as electric blue eyes fluttered open.

Not only was he not in any of those positions with any of those men…he wasn't even in his bed. His big, cushy bed that was only a single room away was vacant, while he occupied the couch for the evening. His boyfriends would have carried or dragged him to the other room before allowing him to fall asleep there for the night, yet somehow waking up like this, lying on his back with his young blond friend sprawled on top of him, a single arm and leg hanging off the side…it was one of the most relaxed mornings he could recall. Even the puddle of drool seeping through his t-shirt didn't take away from how peaceful he felt in that moment.

It really shouldn't have felt as good as it did.

"Cloud," he whispered, not daring to move—not even daring to open his eyes yet.

The truth was, he was hoping his attempt to awaken the younger man would fail. It was different, and maybe it was wrong—but there was something  _right_ about the way they were laying together. Really, it was innocent enough…they'd been watching movies, and Cloud had drifted off against his friend's shoulder. More often than not Cloud crashed on his couch when they had a late movie night—they watched in pajamas, and Zack even kept a blanket ready and draped over the couch for such frequent occasions.

Normally he walked away after making sure his friend was warm and comfortable though.

The thought of staying there with Cloud was a nagging one, and one that he had been fighting increasingly often. He was tired too, he rationalized—going  _all the way_ to the other room when he was ready to close his eyes and drift off felt like a lot of work at the time. He'd finally caved in and fallen back onto the couch, his sleeping friend tumbling onto him. The movement had awoken him, but in his groggy state of confusion all he managed to do was get comfortable instead of objecting. They'd both raised their legs up onto the far end, Cloud shifting onto his stomach and nuzzling into Zack's chest after grumbling incoherently about space kittens—his friend had weird dreams most nights. He'd chuckled softly before wrapping his arms around the blond, succumbing to his own sleepiness shortly after.

All relaxing moments had to end, it seemed, and he knew this one was nearly over as Cloud began to shift on top of him. The arm and leg that had fallen off the side of the couch both snuck back up, and he cuddled into Zack's body as he made another incoherent sound. Instead of hurrying his awakening along, Zack stayed calm and still, enjoying it for what it was. Waking up like this with his best friend was only a big deal if he  _thought_ it was a big deal—he could just choose not to think that way. Everything about their friendship was physical, just typically in a more playful manner. This closeness was just slightly different.

"Zack!" He struggled against the older SOLDIER's grip, trying to push himself upright to no avail. Zack kept his eyes closed, casually pretending to be unaware of the struggle—Cloud scowled though, still squirming in the man's grasp. "I can see you smirking, jerk! I know you're awake. Lemme go."

His eyes blinked open innocently, and his amused smirk turned into a broad smile. "Mornin' Spike."

"I need to go to the bathroom. Let me go," he insisted, more clearly and expectantly this time.

"I'd rather talk about space kittens," he teased, chuckling as the younger man's face grew red—he tried so hard to look angry rather than embarrassed, but it was obvious to his best friend. The glare became too much after a moment though, and he released his friend with a muttered, "Fine."

Cloud took the opportunity as soon as it was allowed, jumping away from Zack before moving hurriedly toward the bathroom. The older SOLDIER let out a short sigh, his feet hitting the carpet as he sat upright and ran a hand through his hair. His heart was sinking in a way it shouldn't—he was feeling the absence of his younger friend more deeply than he was supposed to, and it was impossible to deny. Of course, Cloud would be back in a minute or two, but…it wasn't the first time they'd landed in a position he'd decided was harmless, and every time it happened lately, they ended up dancing around the subject like they were both guilty of something much more significant.

When had their friendship turned into something so delicate?

For years all the years they had known one another, everything between them had been natural and fun. Easy in a way that wasn't normal for either of them—sure, Zack was great at making friends, and naturally drew people in, but…it wasn't often he formed such a deep connection with any of his friends. And the connection with Cloud was feeling a lot deeper these days than it had when they met.

The blond had his full attention as he walked back into the living room, his steps slow and short before he came to a halt at the side of the couch. Zack pulled his legs up onto the couch again, sitting cross legged and fidgeting with his hands in his lap. He looked from them to Cloud, growing wary of this routine. There was no reason for his friend's expression to be so guarded, and there was no reason for him to feel so cautious. That was difficult to vocalize though, when all he could do was stare as he looked up at the blond. Cloud was wearing  _his_ pajamas, and even though he'd put on quite a bit of muscle weight, the blond still looked ridiculous in his too-big plaid pants and a too-big white t-shirt. Even more ridiculous how the sight made his own heart leap…

He was ready to stop being so careful and just tease the younger man about it, but Cloud broke the silence first.

"I've gotta go," he declared, a hand on the back of his neck as he eyed his friend. "Just remembered, I have a briefing in an hour, and I need to get my uniform from my place."

"You have an extra in my closet," Zack reminded him, somehow feeling like Cloud hadn't actually forgotten that small detail.

"Yeah, but it's dirty."

He arched an eyebrow, not ready to let it go. They'd  _just_ swapped out his spare infantry uniform for a spare Third Class uniform last week. "You haven't even worn it since your promotion."

"I'll see you later!" Cloud responded, a weak smile on his face as he brushed off Zack's observation without a word of acknowledgment.

The look on his face said more than he could have anyway. Zack watched curiously as his friend left, wanting to object, but too confused to find the right words. He wasn't confused about  _why_  Cloud was lying—they both knew that much. Every time one of their hugs lasted a minute too long, or their locked gazes lingered longer than necessary...every time a guiding hand drifted innocently during training, or a pat on the back turned into a hand on the back as they walked together...It was always the same. Cloud would get flustered and find an excuse to leave.

What was confusing was the fact that two people who could tell each other  _anything_  couldn't find a way to discuss something so obvious.

He sank back into his couch with a drawn out sigh, unfolding his legs as he rubbed the remaining sleepiness from his eyes. There was a simple solution to their problem, and he knew it. All three of his boyfriends adored Cloud.

That was a conversation he was avoiding too...

 

* * *

 

 

It was an uncomfortable dinner, from start to finish.

Usually there was a lot to discuss on nights when all his boyfriends were available—their time together as a group was limited. More often than not, they met up on separate evenings whenever they could; their schedules were just too different and changed too frequently for any consistent plans to be possible.

Mondays…they were usually the exception. Mondays were a big meeting day around ShinRa, and so Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis were usually around unless there was an important mission that required someone of their caliber. None of them were fond of meetings or office days, but it was a good excuse for them to see  _each other_ when it was all done for the day.

This group dinner was spent in silence though.

The air was tense, but Zack was too consumed by his own thoughts to pay  _too_ much attention to it. He cleared his plate absentmindedly, not enjoying Angeal's cooking as much as usual—his former mentor had even made his favorite, which was odd because it wasn't his birthday or some kind of special occasion. He hadn't even worked up the will to ask why, or the politeness to say thanks—he'd have to be sure to do that before the evening ended.

A loud 'ahem' caught his attention, but he took a swig of his beer before acknowledging it. Genesis was staring at him a bit more intently than he'd realized, and he tried to give the redhead his full attention. It was more difficult than it should have been with his mind so scattered.

"We were beginning to think you were too good for us."

Zack raised both brows. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, a bit more carefully than he usually approached a conversation with any of his boyfriends.

The redhead raised his wine glass, swirling its contents before raising it to his lips. He paused a moment before taking a sip, his eyes never leaving Zack's as he set it back down. He seemed content when Zack didn't so much as blink as he waited. "You missed the last three Monday night dinners."

"I already explained that," Zack responded, a bit wary that he needed to go over this  _again_. It wasn't so atypical for one or more to miss out on a Monday from time to time.

"You cancelled on me last Wednesday and Friday as well."

"Cloud's exam was coming up, and he needed—"

"And how did that go?" Genesis cut in, lacking any genuine curiosity.

"He passed this time," the younger SOLDIER answered, a smile tugging at his lips despite the strange vibe in the room. He was a bit surprised that the redhead didn't already know though—judging by the expressions on the other men at the table, they were already aware of the news. He'd even  _told_ Angeal already, and usually word got around quickly among the four. The more he thought about it, the more he stared at Genesis questioningly. "You knew that already," he concluded, a hand on the back of his neck as he slumped in his chair.

Whatever he thought they were talking about wasn't what they were talking about. He tried not to groan, but it drove him insane when Genesis beat around the bush about things like this—they didn't have disputes or arguments often, but when something was bothering any of his boyfriends he preferred them to just be direct about it.

"Gen…" he prompted, shaking his head helplessly as he stared with as much patience as he had left.

Genesis took another long sip of his drink instead of replying though, his sharp gaze daring Zack to try to push him into responding faster.

"Of course I knew," he said finally, rolling his eyes as Zack let out the frustrated sigh he'd been building up. "I just wanted to get it on the table so to speak. He's passed his exam now—you have no good reason to miss our dinners."

He paused for a minute, forcefully reminding himself that  _maybe_ Genesis was right to be annoyed. It wasn't like him to miss spending time with any of his boyfriends, yet somehow in the last several months he'd skipped out on more than he had in the last several years. Every time there had been an explanation, and most of those explanations were the same—Cloud needed him. Sometimes for training, sometimes for advice, sometimes to unwind after a long day…

His boyfriends liked Cloud, but maybe they didn't understand quite the way he thought they did.

"I'm here, aren't I?" he offered, forcing a weak smile.

"Are you?" The redhead arched an eyebrow, studying the younger SOLDIER carefully. "You seem elsewhere."

Zack looked from Sephiroth to Angeal, hoping for some kind of assistance. Neither seemed inclined to speak on his behalf though, which only added to the guilt he felt. "I have a lot on my mind," he tried to explain, another short sigh accompanying the words.

"I suppose it has to do with Cloud as well?"

He could feel his heart racing anxiously at the mention of his younger friend. "Yeah, actually," he admitted, his tone growing more defensive as the redhead pressed him. "I haven't seen him in almost two weeks. It's like he's avoiding me or something."

This time all three men seemed intrigued, though Genesis maintained control of the conversation. "Why would he be avoiding you?"

His heart sank at the question—it was one he'd asked himself, but hadn't found a satisfactory answer to yet. There were a few guesses, but he refused to accept any of them. "I dunno. I was gonna just ask him, but I haven't had a chance."

"Is there anything you'd like to ask  _us_?"

He stilled where he sat, hoping he had just misunderstood the question. There was enough going through his mind already without crossing this bridge. "Like what?"

Genesis let out a dramatic sigh, his eyes narrowing. "You truly have no idea?"

He turned to his mentor, a growing desperation on his face. "Angeal—"

"You can't turn to him to save you from everything," the redhead cut in, shaking his head and sending Angeal a warning glare as he opened his mouth. "No. I'm not the only one who's upset about this. You've been cancelling on  _all_ of us, and we need to talk about it."

Angeal looked torn already, looking from Zack to Genesis. He held the redhead's stare for a minute before turning back to the younger SOLDIER apologetically. "He's right, Pup. If something is going on with you, or any of us, we need to be able to talk about it. That's how this relationship has always worked."

"I'm sorry I missed the last few dinners, and I'm sorry about cancelling the other times," Zack said sincerely, looking to each of his boyfriends in turn. The apology pulsed through him as he read their expressions, realizing just how much they were affected by his absence—the last thing he wanted to do was hurt any of these men in any way. He reached out, his hand falling on Genesis' tentatively first. For a moment he was sure the redhead would pull back, but the offended expression seemed to soften after a moment. "Really. I'm sorry." He reached out with his other hand, letting it fall on Sephiroth's knee and giving it a gentle squeeze—his silver haired boyfriend hadn't added anything to the conversation, but he could tell by the slight slump in the man's shoulders that he was just as weighted by the discussion. "I'm sorry."

"You did not answer," Sephiroth noted, his hand falling on Zack's before he could pull it back.

Zack nodded his head slowly, not looking away from the bright green eyes that held him. "I can't ask you that."

"You love him."

"I love  _you_ ," Zack countered, more firmly than he'd spoken all evening. He snapped his eyes away, making sure to look at Angeal and Genesis once more as his heart ached. "I love you all."

 

* * *

 

 

Three weeks was his limit. Even when he stopped cancelling his plans with his boyfriends, he still felt a huge void in his day to day without seeing Cloud—even just a minute with his best friend could brighten his day. He'd put in the effort to track down his friend—stopping by his apartment, calling and texting his phone…he still had his own missions though, and he didn't want to go overboard knowing there could be a dozen explanations for his friend's sudden disappearance.

Newly promoted Third Classes had busy schedules—more briefings and debriefings than he could count, on top of their mako acclimation and new training regime. They were assigned their own apartments, and that introduced a new social element to them as well—they had new neighbors, and people to celebrate their promotions with. Zack's heart sank at the thought of Cloud feeling the need to celebrate without him, but…somewhere inside he knew  _that_ wasn't the issue. He had a feeling none of those reasons were the issue, but he stood in front of Cloud's door, again, waiting to find out for sure.

He knocked three times, as slowly as he could despite his growing desire to knock loudly and restlessly. There wasn't a sound to be heard within the apartment though, and so he knocked again just in case—at this point, he didn't even care if he were waking the Third up from much needed sleep. Maybe it was selfish, but he  _had_ to see Cloud, even if his friend had no time to talk or hang out. He'd rather be turned away than ignored entirely.

His hope was deflating rapidly, but before he could turn to leave, there was a slight shuffling sound from inside the apartment. The noise stirred all his hopes back to life, and as the sound drew closer to the door, his heart raced anxiously with anticipation. Sure enough, a moment later it creaked open, just wide enough for him to see his younger friend eyeing him drowsily.

The pang of guilt was short lived—obviously Cloud  _had_ been sleeping, but no matter how worn out the Third appeared, nothing could stop the flood of relief from pouring over him. They hadn't gone so long without seeing each other since they'd met, and he silently prayed they never would again as he stared into Cloud's eyes.

When he felt like that silent message had been conveyed properly, he looked down, taking in the full sight of his friend. Immediately his worried expression cracked as he began to smile. Cloud was wearing  _his_ pajamas. The ones he'd walked out in the last time they'd spoken. His face grew red as he realized Zack was staring him up and down, and he shook his head before his friend could make a joke about it.

"I was too tired to care what I put on," he explained, raising a defensive hand as he spoke.

"You just like 'em 'cause they're mine," Zack told him, a toothy grin on his face as Cloud slumped. "It's fine, Spike, you don't hafta deny it. I'm glad, really. It's like I've been keepin' you company all this time."

"I don't wear them  _every_ night," the Third grumbled, rolling his eyes as Zack's smile grew wider. No way did he believe that—the lack of eye contact spoke volumes. "I'm really beat right now. Can we talk another time?"

That was enough to pause the swelling in his heart. "They keepin' you busy?" he asked, frowning as Cloud gave a drowsy nod in response. "That's good though. You must be mission ready soon, right?"

"Yeah. I get the final sign off next week," the blond confirmed, covering his mouth as a wide yawn forced its way out.

Zack nodded in understanding, uncertain if he should be happy to see  _maybe_ his assumptions about the blond's absence from his life did have a work related explanation. "You didn't have time to call though? Or text?" he asked, scratching the back of his head as Cloud met his eyes again. Something about the look he was receiving made him wish he hadn't asked—he wanted to know still, but he preferred to see Cloud smile.

That torn expression did not suite him at all.

"I just need some space," the blond explained, each word a slow struggle.

"Space," Zack repeated, testing the word almost inquisitively. He didn't like the sound of it.

"You know what I mean," Cloud responded, more quietly this time. He dropped his gaze, shaking his head just slightly as he waited for Zack to speak. The word and its meaning were still sinking in though, and he wasn't sure  _what_ to say about it. "Zack…"

The elder SOLDIER crossed his arms loosely, taking a deep breath as he tried to weigh the sadness and frustration he felt against his understanding. Cloud was probably doing the right thing trying to put some space between them...that didn't make it any easier to accept. In fact, it'd been easier when they were pretending they were both imagining the entire issue, and that obviously wasn't an acceptable solution anymore either.

"So, what?" he teased, a fake smile on his face as he tried to lighten the mood between them, "You spend every day with me preparing for your SOLDIER exam, get my help to pass, and now you're done with me?"

"That's not true!" the blond exclaimed, fiercely and without hesitation. His eyes snapped up, narrow as they locked onto Zack's. "You know that's not true."

"I was joking—"

"I don't think it's funny."

"Then tell me the real reason."

There was another long pause, and he watched as the blond shifted uncomfortably where he stood. "Why do I have to be the one to say it?"

"Because you're the one who wants space," Zack replied, staring pointedly at his friend. "I can't just leave you alone without an explanation."

Cloud let out a strained breath, looking down the hall in both directions. There were a few people roaming, on their way to or from the other apartments—most weren't paying attention to the pair, but the blond seemed dissatisfied anyway. He stepped back, opening the door wider and gesturing for Zack to walk in. The First did so willingly, feeling a false sense of relief as he crossed through the doorway. Surely this was better than being sent away immediately.

He looked around with pretend interest, remembering the days when he got his first apartment as a SOLDIER—it had seemed so much bigger back then. Really, it was just a standard studio space. A small kitchenette, a proportionate table with a single chair—a couch lined up to divide the kitchen area from the 'living room' which consisted of the couch, coffee table, and a crappy TV…and of course, a small bed tucked in the opposite corner.

The small space came furnished, and obviously Cloud hadn't had any time to personalize it or decorate in any way—it was still a huge improvement from the barracks though. He remembered the then-infantryman's complaints about having so many bunk mates, and having to share a bathroom. Those problems were solved, if nothing else. Plus, as a SOLDIER's personal living quarters, it wasn't subject to standard searches and inspections.

At some point during his blank staring, Cloud had taken a seat on the edge of his bed, watching Zack carefully as he snapped out of his trance. He began to approach his friend instinctively, but quickly halted in his tracks.

"Please don't," the blond said, waving a hand up to gesture for Zack to stop. The First obeyed, his false sense of relief shattering already—he'd never heard Cloud sound so pained, not even when he'd taken a big hit during training. "I can't keep acting like things are normal between us."

"Things aren't  _normal_  between us. If they were, I wouldn't have gone so long without seeing you. I miss you, Spike." Somewhere in his statement he'd begun stepping in closer again, but this time there was no pressure to stop. He stared into Cloud's eyes, admiring the sharp glow in them—they were always beautiful, but even more so since his mako treatments. He'd been so sure he couldn't be  _more_ attracted to the blond, but he was sure he was mesmerized now. "I don't want there to be any space with you and me," he finished, taking a seat directly next to his friend.

"I love you."

It was barely a whisper, but Zack heard it loud and clear—his heart seemed to understand before he could process the confession, racing to catch his mind up to the statement. He was still staring into Cloud's eyes, feeling the younger man searching for some kind of reaction or response—the only response he wanted to give was one he couldn't though.

"I love you, too," he offered instead, fighting the pull that already had him leaning in close. A hands on approach was much more his style.

The statement actually elicited a soft laugh from the blond. "That's even worse."

"Why's it worse? We feel the same way about each other."

"It'd be easier if it were just me. If I could just take the time away and get over it," he explained, shaking his head as he took a deep breath. Zack was still fighting the urge to lean in and kiss away his concerns, instead rubbing the 3rd's back reassuringly as he continued. "I can't keep doing this—seeing you, and wanting more. I can't wake up cuddled up on you and pretending it's okay because we're friends, or wrestling around and acting like there's nothing else on my mind. I can't—"

"But you can go to sleep wearing my pajamas because you miss me so much?" Zack cut in, not needing to hear more to get the point—anything Cloud said about their friendship were things he was intimately familiar with. Every unwanted feeling that had started developing between them was just as prominent in his mind. "We can be together. This doesn't have to be an issue."

"You have three boyfriends."

His stomach was in knots already, knowing his friend had a point. "They think you're great," the First replied with a shrug.

"And I think they're great. Doesn't change anything."

It had to change  _something._ "Spike—"

"Zack, I get what you're saying," the blond assured him, staring up with a weak smile. "I don't think that's a solution though. Just because we get along doesn't mean they want me in a relationship."

"They were buggin' me about you just a few nights ago. I told them to drop it…" he admitted, tensing where he sat. "But if you want, I can talk to them about it. I'm sure they'll say okay. They gotta see things are different with us than they used to be."

"Why'd you tell them to drop it?"

"Uh…I'm not sure, really," he responded slowly, a small shrug as he remembered that night. It just never felt like a good time to have that conversation with his boyfriends, even when they attempted to mention it. "I guess I just didn't know how you felt so I wanted to talk to you first."

"You're full of shit."

Zack's jaw dropped in exaggerated offense. " _What_?"

"You're full of shit," Cloud repeated, more adamantly this time. "You knew exactly how I felt. You just don't want me in that relationship for the same reason  _I_ don't wanna be in that relationship."

"And what reason is that?"

"Maybe I'm selfish," the blond revealed, shrugging a shoulder. The word 'selfish' definitely struck an accord with Zack, but he didn't vocalize it—they were on the same page, it seemed, so he didn't need to say anything. "I like them. All of them. But I love you. I don't wanna be with them just so that I can be with you. It's not fair to them, and I'm not gonna disrespect your relationship by trying to jump in  _knowing_ that's how I feel. That's why I just need you to go. Give me some time to—"

"I'm not givin' you any damn space," Zack insisted playfully, his arm pulling Cloud in closer despite his protests. It took a minute for the blond to relax again, but when he did, Zack found himself growing serious again in a hurry. "I've been fighting this for  _months_ now. This doesn't have to be a problem."

"When did it start for you?"

He'd been thinking about similar questions for a while—debating what changed, how it happened, when, why—he'd figured out that his growing feelings were mutual, and considered when those changes happened for Cloud, too...Being able to actually discuss it though, it felt therapeutic after trying to suppress it all for so long. He found himself smiling as Cloud stared at him with so much curiosity.

"It wasn't an overnight thing, or something you did one day. It just...happened over time. I mean, we've been buds for years now, but you were kinda…" He bit his tongue, remembering the Cloud he met and how different that kid was from the man sitting beside him. He loved them both, but in such different ways.

"An awkward dork," Cloud finished, looking a bit whimsical himself.

"Welllll, you're still an awkward dork, but slightly  _less_  awkward. I thought you were cute back then, but not the same way I look at you now. You've just…I dunno, grown up?" he explained, looking a bit confused by his own words It was something he hadn't figured out on his own, even after thinking about it so often. After years of friendship, nothing had  _really_ changed between them. The things they enjoyed doing together were mostly all the same—they trained a bit more often, and Cloud was better at a lot of things, but overall, they were always the same around each other. "You've really come into your own, and ya know? I think when I started noticing that, it was just…day by day you started drawing me in more."

"I had a crush on you the day we met," Cloud said, laughing a bit as Zack's smile grew. "You knew, didn't you?"

"Uh, yeah. I used to stand too close just to fluster you 'cause you were funny," he explained, pouting as the 3rd elbowed him in the side. "I stopped that after like a month! You seemed to catch on that I was a normal dude by then. I mean, a ridiculously attractive dude, but still mostly normal."

"You're not ridiculously attractive," Cloud muttered, shaking his head as Zack arched an eyebrow.

"Take it back!"

It was a playful tone, and one they both knew too well. Cloud had already braced himself, ready for the headlock Zack pulled him into as he refused to take it back—it was the way most of their 'fights' started. It only took a minute of flailing for Cloud to  _almost_ maneuver his way out of Zack's grip, but when the First realized it, he switched tactics and had the blond lying back on the bed, pinned.

"Take it back," he repeated, his tone taunting the blond to try to deny him.

Cloud's fake indignant expression was gone though, replaced by another pained look as he stared up at Zack. "I can't do this. I need you to leave."

Zack's grip relented completely, but he hovered lifelessly for a moment as he stared down. "Cloud…"

"Please. It's hard enough without you acting like this, and doing things like this. Just give me time, and maybe we can go back to pretending this is normal."

"It  _is_ normal—the only thing that's different is that I wanna lean down and kiss you, but is that really so bad when you feel the same way?"

Judging by the look on Cloud's face, yes, yes it was  _that_ bad. "You have three boyfriends."

"That's why I'm not gonna do it. Not without talking to them first, and—"

"I don't wanna be with them," Cloud told his friend, very clearly. "I wanna be with  _you_."

"C'mon, Spike!" he pleaded, moving away from where he hovered over Cloud to his side. He propped himself up on his elbow, watching as his friend did the same...the doubt in Cloud's eyes only made him grow more desperate as he continued. "You're not thinking about it properly because I'm all you see right now. If we got together in the same room—"

"Everyone has a crush on your boyfriends…that doesn't mean everyone's a perfect match for them."

"But you  _know_  them. You're different than everyone else."

"Yeah, and I already told you, I think they're great. That doesn't mean I'm in _love_  with them."

"You could be," Zack debated, his tone halfhearted as he tried to convince himself this was the right thing to say. It was the best option—his boyfriends weren't going to just let him have his own boyfriend on the side, and he couldn't leave Cloud alone at this point. Trying to talk his friend into agreeing and joining his relationship though...it was unsettling. "You're lookin' at it the wrong way—most people aren't already in love when they start a relationship. It happens over time, the same way it did between you and me. You just haven't spent as much time with them...You gotta give them a chance."

"Your relationship doesn't work the same way most relationships do. Even if it's not love, it's a bit more important for  _some_  feelings to be there between  _everyone_  before adding anyone else in—you told me they didn't even let you in for, what? Three years until everyone agreed?"

"They've known you for almost that long."

"And none of those feelings are there. Not even close."

"You're makin' excuses," he muttered, forcing himself to continue. His attempts at persuading his friend were growing weaker, which only seemed to be solidifying Cloud's responses. "Those feelings weren't there for us three years ago either."

"It's just not the kind of relationship for me," Cloud admitted, shaking his head slowly. "Even  _if_ I felt something for them, I don't think I could handle having so many boyfriends."

"Why not? You know what our relationship's all about—it's not that different from having one boyfriend when most the time you only see one at a time anyway. Gen's really romantic when he wants to be, and Angeal…you always said he makes you feel warm, I mean, that's gotta be a start, right? And even Seph's opened up to you—you guys have a weird amount of stuff in common."

"I'm not disagreeing, I just don't wanna be with them like that. I want  _one_ boyfriend—and I dunno, I think they're just in a different place than me. They're legends! I'm still a kid practically, and they're—"

"You're 18 now, and a SOLDIER. You're not a kid."

"Compared to them I am. They're older, and Firsts, and they're—"

"I'm a First too, ya know."

"Yeah but you act younger than me on most days."

Zack couldn't deny this, or prevent himself from laughing. "I guess, but it's not like I'll be a big goof forever. We all gotta grow up sometime, right? One day I could wake up and be boring—who knows?"

Cloud just rolled his eyes, ignoring that comment as he pressed on with his arguments. "They're the kinda guys I look up to…the kinda guys I wanna get advice from, or—"

"You don't look up to me? I seem to remembering giving you plenty of advice too, and you're still interested in me."

"It's different with you."

" _Why_?"

"It just is. I dunno how to describe it."

Zack understood exactly what he meant without further explanation, but he tried to remember his objective. "It's not like the butterfly phase lasts forever—it all tapers off. What matters is if there's something deeper left after they're gone. Just because you aren't feeling anything for the guys now doesn't mean—"

Cloud shook his head solemnly. "Don't you think I've thought about this? That I  _tried_ to feel something when I realized how much I cared about you?" he asked, catching Zack off guard completely. The way Cloud was responding did make it seem like maybe he'd already put some thought into it, but the idea of his friend considering his boyfriends seriously was bizarre. "When I started to think how I felt for you wasn't just one sided, I didn't know what I was supposed to think about them anymore. You always seem happy with them, and I thought...I really _wanted_ to feel something more for them too. I just don't. And no matter how many ways you say it, I can't change it just because you want me to. That's not how it works, and that's why I need you to go...give me time to sort through all this."

He wasn't ready to leave just yet, not while the air was still so thick with uncertainty. This wasn't how he imagined the day they were both finally able to admit how they felt. "Cloud…"

"Zack, I mean it," the blond said, too soft to be insistent. He was begging with his eyes though, and that was enough to get Zack to roll off the bed without hesitation. He watched as Cloud sat up, wishing he had anything else left to say on the subject—really though, if they had just had a debate, Cloud won with ease. And it didn't bother him. All that upset him in that moment was the idea of having to walk away. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault we feel this way," Zack told him, shaking off his sadness as best he could as he met Cloud's eyes.

There was a lot he didn't understand about how he had fallen so hard for his best friend, or how he could want to be with someone so badly yet feel so torn about the idea of having that person join his relationship...but he knew they weren't at fault for how they felt about one another—neither of them could help it. The bond that had blossomed between them was just  _there_ , pulsing in a way they couldn't ignore or deny.

He ran a hand through his hair, front to back before letting out a sigh. It seemed like Cloud had no intention of replying, and the drawn out silence was taking its toll on Zack. This wasn't how it was supposed to be with them. They never ran out of things to say to each other, and even serious conversations always ended on a fun note...

"You really think time apart will do any good?" he asked, hands on his hips as he eyed the blond skeptically.

"No, but it's the only thing I can think to try right now. These last few weeks kinda sucked."

At least he wasn't the only one who felt that way. "Yeah. I was thinkin' 'bout you  _more_ , actually."

"It's gotta be easier than seeing you and knowing this is it though. Knowing there can't be more."

"There  _can_ be more," Zack reminded him, letting out another long sigh as he resisted sitting back down again.

He just wanted to reach out—show his friend how it could be between them. Close the gap the way they both obviously wanted and needed. Even a long, tight hug felt wrong now though, knowing it would mean something else to him...and knowing there were still three big obstacles to consider.

There had to be a solution. "We'll figure this out, Spike. I promise."

"Okay," he agreed, his voice dripping with doubt.

"I'll try to back off a bit while we're working it out, but…you gotta call me, or something. You can't push me out completely—not now," Zack told him, stepping closer to the bed and grabbing the blond's hand. He ran his thumb over Cloud's knuckles, noting the way the simple touch had drawn most of the blond's attention. "If you're gonna be clear for missions, I need to know you're okay. And if you need anything, I want you to be comfortable coming to me still."

"I am," he responded, looking up tentatively. "I'll let you know before I go anywhere. I promise."

"And when you're back?"

"Yeah."

Zack studied him for a long minute, nodding when he felt content with the blond's agreement—he gave his hand a gentle squeeze before releasing it with a deep sigh. "Okay. I'm gonna talk to the guys tomorrow, see if there's anything we can do."

"I don't—"

"Wanna be with them. I get it. That doesn't mean we can't work somethin' out."

Cloud didn't look convinced, but he didn't try to argue against Zack's confident assertion either—instead he forced a smile, which Zack returned before he moved toward the door. He wanted to look back and say goodbye to his friend, but…goodbye sounded too much like he was accepting the fact that they needed to be apart before going back to their usual routine as friends. He preferred to think his bold claim was true. That something could be done to make their situation work, and that he'd be seeing Cloud by the next afternoon.

 

* * *

 

 

Of all his boyfriend's, Angeal was the one he'd known the longest—his mentor always helped him sort through his problems. He  _could_  talk to any of of his boyfriends about anything, but Angeal…he didn't get jealous or judgmental the way Genesis could, and he had a better understanding of emotional issues than Sephiroth.

It only made sense to approach Angeal first, and separately.

The problem was, he had no idea where to begin—they were sitting side by side on the couch, watching some movie about a small chocobo overcoming the odds and becoming a champion racebird. Angeal was a sucker for motivational stories, and Zack didn't mind them usually—mostly though, he liked cuddling up onto his boyfriend, and this time was no different. He was leaning comfortably into Angeal while his boyfriend had a loose arm wrapped around him, and he took the opportunity to stare blankly at the TV and allow his mind to roam.

"Do you want to talk about it?" the elder SOLDIER asked, eyes not leaving the screen as he spoke.

"Not really," Zack admitted, tensing where he sat. It really shouldn't have been so shocking that Angeal could sense something was bothering him without even looking at him, but it definitely through him off. They had only made it about halfway through the movie, and he'd been hoping to make it to the end before being asked what was on his mind. Would waiting really help? His boyfriend might not try to press the issue again if he declined, and he was beginning to doubt that he'd ever figure out the right way to approach this conversation. "I think I need to though," he said finally, his entire world

Angeal reached for the remote with his spare hand, turning off the TV and focusing his attention on Zack. The younger man didn't look up at him though—he was still eyeing the blank TV screen, heart racing anxiously as he debated what to say.

"It's alright, Zack. It's just me," Angeal murmured, sneaking his hand from Zack's shoulder into his hair. He ruffled the black spikes before letting his fingers massage at his scalp, getting his boyfriend to relax enough to look up. His mentor's eyes were filled with the same boundless patience they'd always held—there was obvious concern in them, but no flicker of jealousy about the impending conversation. "Is it about Cloud?"

"Yeah…I kinda screwed up," he said, letting out a long sigh. Angeal didn't show any signs of annoyance with his younger boyfriend—he just waited, giving Zack the time he needed to open up. "I love him."

To his surprise, Angeal almost looked relieved by the admission. "I know," he said, kindly and with acceptance.

His warmth was enough to draw out more from Zack. "He told me he loves me too."

"I know," he said again, though this time Zack's eyes went wide. He hadn't been expecting that, at all. "Well, I know he loves you. I wasn't aware you'd spoken about it."

He breathed a short sigh, shaking his head slightly as he scratched the back of his head. "You can probably guess what's wrong then."

"He's not open to the rest of us," Angeal concluded, sounding confident in his assumption.

"Nope. I mean, he likes you all, he just…he doesn't think he can care about you that way."

"And what do you think?"

He struggled with the question, again coming back to the only answer that made sense—the one that he was trying to accept himself. "It'd be easier if he was willing to try with everyone at least."

Angeal frowned, his brows furrowed as he thought about Zack's statement. "There was a time before I was your boyfriend, when I was your mentor."

Zack scoffed—ShinRa could take away the title, but that didn't change anything. "You still are my mentor."

"And that's why I'm speaking to you as a mentor now. Not as a boyfriend," Angeal told him very carefully. "There's a reason you haven't even tried to ask us if we'd consider him at this point. You've obviously felt this way for quite some time, and it's not something you can just ignore. If you love him, and he loves you, there's a simple solution to your problem."

"But I love all of you, too."

"Zack…"

He frowned. Why was Angeal looking at him like that? "I don't understand."

"Yes, you do, Pup." He patted the younger SOLDIER's shoulder, shaking his head slightly. "You've been pulling back from us since the day he stumbled into your life. It was gradual at first, but the more time you spend with him, the more prominent it's become. I think you spent more time with him than any of the three of us these last six or eight months."

"I wasn't pulling back, he just needed me, and I—"

Angeal was shaking his head again, his expression grim. "You don't need to explain yourself to me. Just know that I will always care for you, regardless. I'm sure the others will come around too. They aren't blind. They see the way you light up when you talk about him. Why do you think Gen was so hostile and Seph was so quiet last Monday? We all know something is going on with you two."

"Nothing's happened with me and him," Zack clarified, relieved again to see Angeal nod; it was good to see that Angeal believed him—to know he was trusted, and that Angeal knew he wouldn't disrespect their relationship by crossing any lines. "I just feel…different around him."

"Different how?"

"Cloud and I…we always have fun together, but lately it's just been so much easier with him," he explained carefully, hoping not to offend his boyfriend.

"Easier than it used to be with him, or easier than it is with us?"

"Both," he said, realizing it as he spoke. "When I met him, it was the furthest thing from my mind. He was just a shy, dorky kid and I wanted to help him out—I wanted to take him under my wing like you did for me. It's like he stepped outta that shell now, and he's this whole new person. We still have fun, but it keeps getting better. I can't help wanting more, especially now that I know he does too."

"I can understand that," Angeal responded, looking at Zack with a warm smile. "I felt much the same way about you."

"Yeah, but…" He shook his head, taking a moment to collect his thoughts as Angeal waited for him to continue. "You don't feel the same way about him, do you?"

The elder SOLDIER hesitated a moment, selecting his words as if they were fragile. "I enjoy Cloud's company, and I think he's a great person. He's not someone I could see myself with romantically though."

It was actually a relief to hear, but he found himself pressing the issue anyway. "Why not? You all like him, and it's not like he's bad looking."

"Our relationship has always run deeper than appearances. I'm not saying I don't find him attractive, but I don't feel the same connection with him as I do with Seph or Gen…or you, of course."

"You always have fun when he's around."

"I'm not disagreeing. I told you, I enjoy his company. More so when the two of you are together—I get to see a side of you that you don't often show anymore," he explained, smiling again as Zack frowned. "I don't usually spend time with  _just_ Cloud, so it's difficult to say if there could be something more between us. Seph and Gen agree—none of us have felt any immediate pull toward him. They have nothing but good things to say about him, but our feelings don't run deeper than that."

Zack laughed under his breath, shaking his head. This conversation was beginning to sound very familiar. "He said the same thing about you guys. He thinks you're great, but…"

"If it would make you happy, I think we'd all be willing to try to see if there could be something there. We can see how much he means to you. If he's already feeling the same reluctance that we are though, I'm not sure it would do us any good. Bonds like this can't be forced or hoped into existence."

He nodded his head in understanding, knowing that all too well. That didn't help much with their current dilemma though. He found himself staring at Angeal, needing more guidance than the man had offered—he was at a complete loss. "What am I supposed to do then? I can't have him  _and_ you guys…"

"I think you already know what to do, Pup."

"I have to choose," Zack guessed, raising both brows as Angeal nodded—it was a gentle, encouraging nod rather than one meant to pressure him, but it didn't set him at ease about the situation. "How can I do that?"

"You already made your decision; you just haven't come to terms with it yet because you're worried how we'll react. Ultimately it's not about us though. You have to pursue your own happiness; your own path. I'd never think less of you for leaving me to be with someone you truly care about."

"I  _do_ care about you. All of you!" he insisted, stunned that Angeal could think otherwise.

"Just not as much as him."

He was speaking so calmly and kindly still, but the words stung. "It's different. It's not something you can compare. Do I ever ask you if you like Gen and Seph more than me?"

"No, but to be fair, I'm not asking you either. I can just see it—you're an open book to me, Pup."

"I love you."

"You think you're doing me a kindness by saying that now, but you're not. You're making this more difficult than it already is," Angeal told him, tearing his gaze away uncharacteristically. The composed mask he was wearing was cracking, and it was almost unbearable to witness. He rubbed his hands over his face, letting out a short, strained breath as he stared off. His expression was unrecognizable as the younger SOLDIER watched him, completely devastated to see his mentor looking so wounded. Angeal was his rock—steady and unwavering. It only took another moment for his demeanor to shift back into its sturdy state, but the damage was done. Zack would never be able to forget that  _he_ had caused Angeal to feel that way. "You've been unhappy with us for months now."

"That's not true," he responded, shaking his head vigorously.

"Yes, it is. And that's okay, Pup. I thought it was normal for a while—relationships have ups and downs, especially ones like ours where we're constantly being sent away from one another. Maybe it's been building up to this point for years for you though. You're too kind…you always put us first, and your own happiness second—now you've realized you're happier elsewhere."

"That's not true," he insisted again, determined to make Angeal believe it. "You  _do_  make me happy."

"I appreciate you saying that, but if that were the case, we wouldn't be in this situation. It's okay, Zack—you don't have to look so upset. I'm not going to try to tell you I'm pleased you're leaving us, but I support you and your decisions. I'll always be here for you. You'll have to tell the others yourself, but I'll be there by your side," Angeal told him, a finality in his tone.

The truth was, his mentor was right. About his decision, at least. There was no way he could go back to acting like he was just friends with Cloud, even if that meant leaving his current relationship. His heart wouldn't allow him to ignore the way he felt about the blond any longer.

That didn't mean the three men he'd spent so much of his life with weren't important still, or that they didn't make him happy. A surge of emotions coursed through him, and he almost opened his mouth to try explaining that again, but...no matter how gentle Angeal's eyes looked, nothing could conceal the hurt within them. It seemed like his protests were only making things worse, and he refused to do anything to cause his mentor further pain.

 

* * *

 

Breaking up with three boyfriends after being in a three year relationship with them was unsurprisingly difficult. Well, two boyfriends—it  _did_ help that Angeal knew his intentions when they walked into Sephiroth's apartment together. It felt strange, not holding hands with the man or standing as close as he wanted or needed. Even knowing they weren't going to be involved that way, he was still drawn in by the safety and comfort that emanated from his presence. He was sure Angeal wouldn't have pulled back if he attempted to grab hold of him, but it didn't seem fair to try that under the circumstances either.

Somehow he'd strung the words together, letting his other boyfriends know what was going on in his heart...letting them know that he'd made a decision to leave the group. There wasn't an immediate reaction—it seemed like all three were soaking it in, even Angeal who had already been aware. No one looked shocked or angry or anything, really...just blank as they thought about what Zack had told them.

Eventually Angeal offered him a weak, reassuring smile, but that only made him feel worse.

Genesis snapped out of his own thoughts next. "Get out."

Zack felt his heart sink as he met the redhead's eyes, easily stung by the harsh words he undoubtedly deserved to hear.

"Genesis—" his two other boyfriends—or, ex-boyfriends—started, both silent as the redhead glared at them with offense.

"Am I supposed to be happy about this?" he asked, more furious with every word. "I'm not saying we should disown him forever, I just can't look at him right now." He turned to face Zack again, arms folded across his chest. "Leave."

Neither of the other two men made to object this time, and Zack couldn't bring himself to even look at them either. He obeyed silently, forcing himself to move more quickly than he felt capable. When his hand was on the knob, he felt another pang of sadness when no one said a word to stop him...and then another when he stepped out, closing the door behind him as he exited.

It all felt so...final. He found himself leaning back against the closed door, unable to walk away as every emotion hit him all at once.

Three years…

All three men were wonderful, and he had countless awesome memories about their time together—as boyfriends, and even before that as friends. When he'd closed that door, he'd closed a different door as well. One to a chapter of his life that he would likely never be able to reopen. They may forgive him in the long run...accept his friendship, and offer their own...they would never open up to him beyond that again though. Those three were exclusive about who they spent time with, and it felt like a massive betrayal to know he'd been accepted and then turned away from them willingly.

But Cloud…The more space there was between them, the more impossible his day to day felt. He couldn't be happy without Cloud, that much he knew. It was the right decision, but that didn't make him feel any better about hurting three of the most important people in his life.

"It's not his fault," he heard Angeal say, finally breaking the silence in the apartment. "He loves Cloud—we've all seen them together."

"He didn't even  _try_ to see if it could work with all five of us!" Genesis argued, every word nailing in the guilt the younger SOLDIER was harboring.

"Their bond is unique. None of us have that with Cloud, and I'm beginning to wonder if we ever truly had it with Zack. He's always been different than the rest of us. He—"

"Of course we had it! We'd never have spent so long with him if there were nothing between us."

"Perhaps I did not express myself adequately."

He was sure he couldn't feel worse about the entire situation, but hearing Sephiroth chime in…the underlying struggle in his tone was grueling to hear. He wanted to shout into the door  _yes, you did_ …he absolutely did express himself, and Zack saw it every day they spent together—he felt it in every small gesture, and deep in his heart.

If he knew his boyfriends…or, ex-boyfriends…it was strange to think about still, but he could imagine Angeal by Sephiroth's side, rubbing his back reassuringly as Genesis paced out his irritation. Knowing they had each other still was the only reassurance he allowed himself.

"I don't understand what he thinks Cloud can offer him that we can't," the redhead said, his annoyance transitioning into sheer disbelief. " _Us_! We've treated him very well over the years. Some Third Class has nothing that we don't, surely."

"I don't think it's that simple," Angeal responded, too calmly to be comforting. It was almost like he knew his student was still leaning against the door listening, and he was forcing himself to stay level headed about the whole thing. "When Zack first joined us, things were different. You used to take him out on dates, remember? Dinners, dancing...What do you do with him now?" There was a long pause, and Zack found himself debating the answer as well—he remembered everything Angeal spoke about. How great things had been when they first got together…how every time they got together, as a group or separately, it had been so exciting and different. It only seemed normal for some of that to fade and change over time though. "You bring him to the theatre, Gen. Zack doesn't have the attention span for plays—it's not really his thing. And Seph, you—"

"Are you blaming  _us_?" Genesis cut in, offense dripping in his tone.

"No. It was the same with me. I used to bring him out too, and now…I'm so busy with work and you two that when I have time with him, I try to spend it catching up on things I enjoy. The last time I took him out, I brought him to the flower shop…he didn't seem to mind, but he must have hated it," Angeal explained, sounding regretful as he spoke. "It's difficult, with so many of us. We all try to please each other, but if we aren't careful…I think he lost a bit of himself every time he tried to put us first. When he's with Cloud, he doesn't have to try to please anyone."

"If he wanted to do something different, all he had to do was ask. I still enjoy going out on the town just as much as I did three years ago, I just usually take  _you_ to dinner."

"He had been asking me to bring him to that new movie—the comedy," Angeal said, letting out a long sigh. "I kept putting it off because I wasn't interested in seeing it."

"He may have mentioned that to me as well."

"Public cinemas are not preferable."

"He went ended up going with Cloud. They had a good time."

There was a long silence, and Zack tried to work out his feelings during it. Angeal had a point, as usual—it was always his first instinct to cave in and do whatever his boyfriends wanted. A movie was the least of his concerns, and just another example on an extensive list over the years. That didn't mean he wasn't having a good time though. He  _liked_ doing things that made them happy.

Their time together was so limited that it wasn't worth bickering with Genesis about not wanting to see another play, or trying to convince Sephiroth to leave the apartment for dinner for a change, or telling Angeal that he couldn't smell the difference between the a tulip and a daisy. Seeing his boyfriends happy made him happy, and so it was fine. They were still able to talk and bond no matter what they did...and most their evenings ended with great sex, which also made him happy.

Had he lost some of himself through it all?

Not really. Whenever there was something none of his boyfriends wanted to do with him, he always had Cloud. And with Cloud, neither were sacrificing what  _they_ wanted—their interests were just similar to begin with. His heart swelled as he thought about it more...He'd been turning to Cloud longer than he even realized.

"I would have compromised if he'd just spoken up."

"Gen…remember what you always say to me?" Angeal asked slowly, a hint of amusement in his tone. "Sometimes a man—"

"Shouldn't have to ask," the redhead finished, a dramatic sigh escaping his lips. "I  _suppose_  that's a valid point...I wouldn't say it if it weren't true."

"I believe I am at fault."

"Seph, you're not—"

"I intentionally schedule myself for missions when you make theatre plans," Sephiroth revealed, his tone uncomfortable at the admission. "I do the same when there is mention of gardening related plans or other various activities. If I am unavailable, your options for company are limited."

"It's not like you're the first person to schedule something to get out of theatre night," Angeal told him softly, clearly ignoring the loud scowl from Genesis. "And I know neither of you are that interested in all my hobbies. Zack's probably the only one who was too kind to do that, and…"

He couldn't listen anymore. It was making his heart ache worse than before, hearing them blame each other as they sorted through his decision. It wasn't what he wanted—he hadn't left thinking any of them made him unhappy. He left because he was in love with Cloud, and they weren't—he left because Cloud wasn't interested in them, and he couldn't keep going without changing things with the blond.

When they were ready to listen, he'd be sure to tell them that. For now there was only one place he wanted to be.


	2. Part Two

* * *

 

 

They had been going out on 'dates' for weeks now, but it was always under the guise of friendship. Even before they were together they got dinner as a pair multiple nights a week if they were both available, usually eating out and being openly ridiculous no matter who was watching. At the time though, it had been innocent—at the time, the idea of being together had been comical, and it didn't matter if anyone speculated otherwise.

Now that the truth matched the public assumption, they were careful to keep things simple in public. Or they had been until their hushed conversation had them both leaning forward, and the private smile on Cloud's face had become too much to resist. It didn't matter that they were sitting in a booth in the middle of a crowded restaurant, the only remaining food on the table untouched basket of bread rolls as they continued chatting like no one else was in the room. What mattered was the shine in Cloud's eyes, and the impulse that gripped his heart.

He pulled at Cloud's collar as he leaned in the rest of the way, sealing the distance between them with a very sweet, non-platonic kiss.

"You're outta your mind," the blond muttered, eyes wide, but not budging from his position.

"You've been sayin' that for years," Zack responded, a happy smile on his face as his lips grazed Cloud's once more.

"Zack!" he exclaimed, face red as he swatted the First's hands away from his shirt. This time he leaned back in his seat, looking around anxiously as he rubbed the back of his neck. Most of his self-conscience tendencies had dwindled over the years, but this was different. He didn't care to broadcast the private details of his life, and Zack knew that. Just because they weren't in the middle of the ShinRa base didn't mean the restaurant wasn't filled with people who knew or recognized them...Maybe they'd been too caught up in each other's company to notice a moment ago, but reality had definitely sunk in now. "Everyone's watching."

He just shrugged, not bothered by the fact that Cloud was right. "It's been three months, Spike. I think it's fine if we start lettin' people know we're together."

"I don't care if people know, I just don't want  _them_ to think I'm trying to disrespect your time together, or—"

"They knew my intentions when I ended things," Zack reassured his boyfriend, drumming his fingers on the table as he leaned back as well. "I don't wanna be disrespectful either but…I dunno what the standard wait time is on these things, ya know? They're startin' to let me hang around again, so I've seen  _them_ together…only seems fair that we stop hiding too."

Cloud stared at Zack with interest—he'd been out of town on his own mission for a few days, and most their conversation so far had been about how the mission had gone. "You've seen them together?"

"Yeah. I told you I was going to Monday night dinner," he reminded Cloud, reaching across the table to grab his hand. To his relief, Cloud didn't try to pull back or object to the gesture—instead he smiled a bit, looking at their hands serenely before meeting Zack's eyes again. "They were…civil. Even Gen, which was a big surprise. And me being there didn't stop anyone from sittin' together after dinner, or holdin' hands, or anything—it was just…normal, aside from me not being in the middle of it all."

"Wasn't it kinda weird though?"

"Um…yeah, I guess," Zack admitted, his thumb rubbing over Cloud's knuckles slowly as he thought about it. "I've seen Angeal a few times, but Seph really pulled back from me, and Gen just glared if we ran into each other. I really wanna go back to being friends though, ya know? They're important to me, and I miss being around them."

It was an understatement, but there was no need to explain himself further—Cloud already knew. "I want that for you, too."

"And you. I talked to them, and you're coming by next week for dinner."

Cloud's eyes went wide again, the color draining from his already pale face. " _What_?"

"You already know them…it won't be a big deal."

"I have a mission—"

"Yeah, about that. Seph cancelled it," Zack told him, mildly apologetic, but not really—he smirked after a moment, watching as the stress began to crack his boyfriend's calm demeanor. He pulled his hand back from Zack's, running it through his hair as he shook his head with a short sigh. "It's  _fine_. It's not like you stole me away—I chose to be with you, and I haven't regretted it for a second. They liked you before, and they'll still like you now."

He obviously wasn't convinced. "You're sure Genesis isn't gonna—"

"I already told him not to be an asshole," Zack promised, eliciting a slight smile from his blond boyfriend. Of all Zack's exes, Cloud was probably right to be wary of Genesis in particular. Even though they had met numerous times over the years and Genesis expressed his approval of the then-infantryman, the redhead sometimes had a strange way of expressing his approval. On his best days he could be harsh, even to those he cared about—usually not with cruel intentions, but for someone like Cloud who didn't know him  _that_ well, it could be overwhelming...Actually, it used to amuse him seeing how Cloud reacted in Genesis' presence, but this time needed to be different. "I really want this to work out, Cloud. I want us to be good with them."

"I'll try," he agreed, his resolve slowly hardening as he tried to combat his nerves. Zack shot him another reassuring smile, taking his hand again the moment it landed back on the table. "I mean…I liked them all even when I started resenting them for having you...I guess I can't be too offended if they're the ones resenting me now."

"They're not resentful. If they're mad or annoyed, it's with me, I promise—I'm the one who made the decision."

"Do you ever…miss them?" Cloud practically winced as he forced the words out, and Zack found himself squeezing his boyfriend's hand instinctively.

There was no need for him to worry about asking something like that.

Really, they were overdue for this conversation—they'd inadvertently avoided talking about his previous relationship for significantly longer than he'd intended. Their entire relationship so far had been a whirlwind…a massive honeymoon period, where all they could focus on was one another after trying so desperately to ignore their feelings for so long. There were no questionable subjects or too-serious moments permitted during their time together—an unspoken agreement as they reveled in each other's company without having to hold anything back.

The closest they'd come to breaching the subject was in that moment when Zack showed up at his door…completely lost and disheveled, uncertain if he should be feeling quite as excited as he did upon seeing Cloud's stunned expression when he blurted out the news about his breakup…There certainly hadn't been time to elaborate that night. As soon as the blond wrapped his head around the fact that Zack had chosen  _him_ even when the possibility hadn't so much as crossed Cloud's mind, that was it—their priorities synced up in an instant, and the rest of the world was irrelevant.

It was only in the quiet moments when he was alone that Zack considered questions like the one Cloud was now asking. And he wasn't dreading answering either…even though he knew the blissfully unaware stage of he and Cloud's relationship wouldn't last forever, it had given him a new perspective on his breakup. He'd been so sure he wasn't unhappy, but…

"Miss them  _how_?" Zack responded slowly, raising both brows with a hint of amusement. He knew exactly what Cloud meant, but there was something adorable about how nervous his boyfriend looked when he was put on the spot during what he deemed to be an awkward moment. Really, it was a perfectly reasonable question under the circumstances—if he expected Cloud to go see them after all this time, it only made sense to get everything out in the open now.

Cloud just shrugged, trying to look as indifferent as he could—his boyfriend could still see the budding curiosity and concern though. "Miss being with them. Just in general, I guess."

"Hmm," he muttered, tapping his chin thoughtfully with his free hand. Truthfully, he had missed them all, and still did—there were moments nearly every day when he found himself wondering how his mission would have gone if Angeal had been there too, or what Genesis was up to at that very minute, or how Sephiroth's afternoon had gone….That wasn't really what Cloud was asking though. "No," he responded simply, struck by a surge of guilt as the word came out with such ease. Missing them was different than missing their relationship though, and he couldn't honestly say he missed that. Cloud looked surprised by his short answer, and so he tried to explain himself further. "I loved them, but…I think a lot of that ended for me a long time ago, before I broke it off with them. I just didn't see it until I realized how much I love  _you_. It was like I remembered what love was supposed to feel like, and that entire situation was just…safe and comfy."

"I'm not safe and comfy?"

"I mean, you're definitely comfy to cuddle up with, but safe? You're Mr. Danger—" He cut himself off as a palm sized bread roll hit his head, his jaw dropping in feign offense. He grabbed the roll before it could fall to the ground, clutching it in his hand as he pointed a finger at the blond. "That just proves me right!"

"I'll throw another if you don't watch it," Cloud warned, tossing another roll up in the air and catching it as he eyed the First.

"You're kinda sexy when you defend yourself with bread," Zack told him, winking as Cloud scoffed—the blond took a bite from the roll in his hand after, looking at Zack to continue with a more serious explanation.

A lot of what had changed in his previous relationship stemmed back to how it began, and that was a story he'd never really told Cloud—it predated their friendship even, and never seemed relevant.

"I idolized them, and when they accepted me into their little circle, I really felt…I dunno, special? It meant a lot, even when I was younger—and when I got to know them more, and I just wanted to do everything with them. I liked finding ways to get Seph to laugh, or drawing out all the different sides of Gen…and Angeal, I think I connected with him from the start. That's just the kinda guy he is—when I found out they were interested in more with me, it was like all those feelings multiplied. For a while it was all just…intense."

He paused, eyeing Cloud carefully to make sure he really wanted to hear more. It seemed like he was on the edge of his seat though, soaking in every word as he nodded along.

"What changed?" the Third prompted, his tone filled with genuine curiosity. "I know it wasn't just me."

"It was a lot more than you. Things started to get weird way before I even realized how I felt about you," he admitted, chuckling softly under his breath as he remembered one of their recent discussions—the two had chronicled their feelings for each other, laughing in bed as they confessed the odd moments when they'd each started to realize their feelings for one another. For Cloud, it was when he noticed one day that it no longer bothered him when Zack wreaked after training—it was something they had always joked about because Zack would always end their sessions with a long, tight hug that Cloud would loudly protest because the sweat and smell…and for Zack, it was when he was sitting on his couch one day, noticing the little stains from the drool puddles Cloud would leave some nights—instead of being amused or bothered by it, he found himself smiling fondly as he wondered when his friend would be free to spend the night again.

That same fond smile tugged at his lips as he eyed his boyfriend, and he pulled himself back from the memory. "Y'know, relationships are hard when you're in SOLDIER," he said, because maybe Cloud  _didn't_ know that. Not yet, at least. Everything had been so easy between them so far—aside from the occasional few days apart, there was nothing to complain about. Cloud nodded like he understood nonetheless, encouraging Zack to continue. "With four SOLDIERs it's even harder. By the time I got to First Class too, I had so much goin' on—the guys had more responsibilities too, and it got tough after a while. I spent all my free time figurin' out who I could see that day, who wasn't off doin' somethin' already, and y'know…I never just took a minute away from it all, except when I was makin' sure I had time to see  _you_."

That made Cloud's smile grow. "You always had time for me."

"Yeah…there was probably a good reason for that, and I just didn't know it at the time," Zack told him, smiling back as he thought about it more. They really did always have the best times together…it was mind boggling that he hadn't felt their connection sooner. Of course, his mind and heart  _had_ been elsewhere, but still. Something about Cloud was undeniable. It was difficult to even stay on track with their conversation as he eyed his boyfriend, almost caving in to his desire to focus on  _him_ rather than anything else they were discussing…he shook his head to snap out of that train of thought though, determined to satiate Cloud's curiosity first. That and his conscience was nagging him to explain himself better—he didn't want to paint the wrong picture about his previous relationship. Those years were ones he was grateful for, and he felt nothing but positive things when he thought of any of his exes now. "They were worth it. All the crazy schedules 'n planning 'n nights doing shit I wasn't always interested in…I wouldn't change any of it."

"So… _nothing_ actually went wrong?"

"Nah, a bunch went wrong—nothing  _bad_ though _._  I just kinda drifted apart from them," he explained, shrugging as Cloud stared with clear disbelief. "Not as people, obviously, but from the relationship. It's hard to explain…I mean, Angeal said all this stuff the day I told them I was done, and I thought he was crazy at first, but now…I guess he was kinda right about some of it at least. I  _did_ always put them first, and after a while I just stopped tryin' to tell them I wanted to do somethin' else or wanted a night to myself. It turned into me having the best time with  _you_ instead of them, and ya know…maybe if I'd just paid more attention, it wouldn't have gone down like that—I wouldn't have let it pile up, or gotten so far removed from it all. But at the time, I didn't even realize that was what happened. I just knew I loved you and I needed to be with you."

"You don't ever regret that I didn't wanna just join all of you?"

"Uh…" He hesitated a moment, shaking his head as he struggled with that same torn feeling he had when he first tried to convince Cloud that was the best solution. Enough time had passed that he could pinpoint the reason behind his hesitation now, though he hadn't expected to be asked about it. "No. It was kinda scary to let go of them after so long, but you were right about us. The selfish thing…I kinda felt obligated to try to convince you otherwise, but I didn't really want you to join up. We have something…different. It's just for you and me, ya know?"

Cloud's eyes lit up at the question, but he gave no other indication of agreement. "Didn't you always say you had something different with each of them though?"

"Kinda. And I still do—or, want to at least. There's still plenty I like about all three of them, and that's why next week's dinner's so important. Not as a relationship thing, but to get our friendships back on track."

"You don't miss any of the relationship parts of it though? Even when things were good?"

"I mean…it depends how you look at it. The romance with Gen—I won't lie, when we were still goin' out more often, it was good. But we have those moments too now."

"When you're not being a complete—"

"Okay, so we  _occasionally_ have romance when you're not tossing bread rolls at me! It's more than I had during the last year or two with the guys," Zack clarified, transitioning from amused to serious in a hurry. "Actually, Gen and I always used to come up with the best pranks when the other guys got too serious—he'd give you a run for your money, Spike. Not like we can't do that now though, just 'cause we're not together. Angeal makin' dinner and then us just relaxing and watching a movie or something…I can still do that with him anytime I want. And ya know, Seph asked me to hang out in his office for lunch later this week—those were always the best times with him, alone where we could really talk. He can get pretty focused with work stuff, so it's even better when he invites to me his office...I can get him to lighten up and enjoy himself, ya know? And none of that stuff with any of them requires being in a relationship. It's like the things I missed and lost…I can have all those things still. It's gonna take a bit more time to be like it used to be with our friendships, but we can get there—and you can be a part of that. A different part now."

Cloud nodded his head, at first just an automatic response, but then more thoughtfully. His boyfriend watched him, knowing there was more weighing on his mind, and he was happy to wait for it—they were in no rush, and it actually felt good to be able to talk about these things. He hadn't realized how much he'd been bottling it all up, and the way Cloud was reacting so calmly was a bigger relief than he'd expected.

"You don't miss the sex?" he asked finally, his voice quiet but interested.

Zack rolled his eyes, not sure why he hadn't anticipated this question. "Sucha perv—I shoulda known that was what you were really trying to ask about…"

"I've got three more bread rolls."

"I'm not gonna sit here and tell you it was bad," Zack told him, shrugging unapologetically as his boyfriend frowned. "Hey,  _you_  asked. Doesn't mean I sit around thinkin' about it, or missin' it though. It was just…I mean, it was the one thing that was just as good in the end as it was in the beginning. And ya know, that's not really a good thing if ya think about it." He watched Cloud's reaction carefully, easily noting the way he shifted uncomfortably in his seat despite all his efforts to appear neutral about the answer. He kicked his foot gently under the table, getting him to look back up in a hurry. "You've been in bed with me, right? Just because it was good with them doesn't mean it's bad with us. I'd say things are awes—"

Cloud shot him a glare, his face heating up in a hurry. "We're in a restaurant!"

"Oh, so we can talk about sex with  _them_  here, but not with us? I didn't realize," he teased, his smirk growing as Cloud opened his mouth but came up with no response. "It's not a big deal. Just…don't ask the next question."

The blond raised both brows, seemingly unaware of what Zack was referring to—they knew each other too well though, and Zack couldn't help feeling like Cloud knew exactly what he meant. "Which question's that?"

"Don't ask if it was better," he replied, blunt enough to make his own smile falter.

He had no qualms discussing their sex life, and he'd actually talked with Cloud quite a bit about how things were in his previous relationship while they were still just friends...It felt like two separate topics though, and seemed best to keep it that way. Truthfully, it was something he hadn't even considered, and it wasn't anything he planned to spend time on either. There were so many more meaningful things to think about about...like how great things were between them on  _every_ level, not just physically. How connected he felt every time their eyes met, or how even on days when they were across the planet from each other, a single, stupid text could lift his spirit for hours.

That felt significantly more important.

"…They're SOLDIER's elite three. I wasn't planning to ask if  _I'm_ better in bed than they are. Or better in any way, really."

"Uh, maybe you  _should_  ask," Zack amended, taken aback by the assumption that was laced in his boyfriend's tone. Cloud just shook his head though, eyes wide as he shifted in his seat again. "I wasn't saying don't ask 'cause things are better or worse, I just meant I'd rather you not think that way  _at all_ …that you need to be comparing things with us to them. We're together, and things are great with us…better than they've ever been as far as I'm concerned. And that's just how it is—I'm not gonna qualify it by sayin' yeah it's better, and I'm not really down with calling  _anyone_ worse. Obviously things weren't right while I was with them, or I wouldn't be here with you now…and I think that's enough, ya know? I'll answer your questions all night long if you want, but I don't wanna turn it into a big list of who's better at what."

"I wasn't trying to," he insisted, his voice wavering as he shook his head.

"Because you already decided things are worse?"

"Not worse, it's just…kinda surreal. That you'd be with  _me_ when you could have all three of them. Everything's been too good to be true so far…I guess sometimes I'm still kinda waiting for you to realize—"

His heart sank further with each word, and he was unable to listen to more. "I coulda sworn we worked out all your confidence issues like two years ago, Spike…"

"I'm not saying anything bad about myself, I just mean—"

"Are you happy with me?" he cut in, his voice gentle and steady.

Cloud stared at him incredulously a moment before realizing how serious the question was—his entire demeanor seemed to soften as he answered, "Of course I am."

"I'm happy with  _you_ ," he replied very clearly, returning Cloud's smile when he was sure they were on the same page.

 

* * *

 

 

Cloud was gripping his hand tighter than usual, letting out short sighs every other step as they approached the door to Angeal's apartment. He knew his boyfriend was nervous, and really, it was endearing—every time he thought his boyfriend was over some of his old habits, some of that nervousness and anxious behavior would reemerge. The behaviors that had caught his attention when they met, and they worked out together over the years. No matter how much he grew and changed, he was still the same goofy kid underneath it all, and Zack loved when some of that slipped through...even when it was unnecessary, at times like these.

He'd tried to give the blond a pep talk before they left, reminding him that before their relationship started, he'd met these men on numerous occasions—that he'd spent time with them together and separately over the years, and hadn't stressed about any of it since the very beginning. And when that didn't calm him down completely, they'd tried to work off the stress physically. He'd been very relaxed after his orgasm, but it seemed that was a temporary solution as well.

"It'll be fine," he whispered, grinning down as Cloud tried to give him a resilient nod of agreement. He kissed his boyfriend's cheek before straightening at the door, using his spare hand to knock. The door swung opened before he could pull back his hand, Genesis greeting them with a sultry smirk. "Hey, Gen."

"Hello Zack," he responded, promptly turning his attention to the blond. "Cloud. Come in."

The two did as requested, stepping inside before releasing their interlocked hands—it was almost at the same time, as they realized all eyes in the room were fixated on their touch. Genesis was too friendly after, guiding them graciously to the dinner table after noting how nice their hair looked and how adorable their outfits were—it was a bit peculiar. They hadn't exactly dressed up for the occasion...they were both just wearing jeans and t-shirts.

He took his usual spot, which was across from Sephiroth and to the right of a vacant seat that he knew would be Angeal's. It only took him a second to kick himself mentally for falling into the habit rather than stopping to think about it—the extra place they'd set for Cloud was directly between his seat and Genesis', and it probably would have been better if he'd placed himself between the two. It was definitely too late to swap now though.

"You look good too," Zack told the redhead, a bit unsure how appropriate it was to say, but it seemed polite—and true. All his ex-boyfriends looked good, and they always did. It took a special kind of man to look good in monster splatter, but…actually, they could pull that off too. It felt even stranger to make that assessment from such an objective standpoint, and not have it be followed by any different thoughts—nothing that sent his heart racing or stirred any old, familiar desires.

Genesis looked thoroughly pleased nonetheless, and before he could even ask, Angeal was offering both of them beers. Cloud had his open and at least three sips down before Zack even had his in hand, which got him more than a few looks—which only made him take another, longer sip in response.

"Are you nervous?" Genesis asked him, eyeing the Third critically as he set his drink down.

"Yes," Cloud admitted, getting a reassuring smile from Zack in response. "It's just…been a while."

"It  _has_ been a while—I haven't seen you since at least three weeks before Zack left us," the redhead recalled, ignoring the stern looks he received from everyone except Cloud. "What was it you told me that day?"

"Um…we talked for a while that day," the blond responded, brows furrowed thoughtfully. "I'm not sure which part you mean."

"The part about how appreciative you were that we were understanding about Zack spending all that time with you—to help you train, of course."

"Oh. Yeah, I was," Cloud agreed wholeheartedly, sipping at his drink automatically. Zack clenched his fists in his lap, fighting the instinct to jump in and steer the conversation toward a better topic—it had barely been two minutes since they walked through the door. If he wanted this to go well, he needed to let some of these awkward moments play out, otherwise Genesis would just create another somehow. "That was...I mean, I still appreciate it. I wouldn't have ever passed my exam without Zack's help."

"I was thinking maybe Zack would return the favor. I could use some of your time, Cloud."

"…For what?" Cloud asked tentatively.

"That's a surprise."

That was too much. "Uh, Gen—" Zack started, shaking his head uneasily.

"It's nothing a newly promoted Third Class can't handle," he insisted, still focusing all his attention on Cloud. "If you agree, then you can meet me in my office tomorrow morning, 0700 hours. It's entirely up to you—I'll have you excused from your regular duties if you're interested."

He was tempted to try and interject again, but Cloud's hesitation had transformed into determination as he held Genesis' gaze. Maybe he didn't  _need_ any rescuing. "I'll be there."

Genesis gave a quick nod of approval before Angeal offered everyone a much needed distraction—dinner was ready. His mentor began distributing plates to everyone around the table, settling into his own chair when he was done. The three elder SOLDIERs didn't seem put off by what was in front of them, though Genesis didn't appear entirely thrilled. Zack arched an eyebrow though, unsure what he was even looking at. It was some kind of chunky, off-color meat coated in a thick, dark gravy or sauce of some kind—there were other unidentifiable lumps mixed in with the meat, and it was all topped off with some kind of breading or crumbly... _something_. He caught a whiff of it and tried not to gag...it  _smelled_ almost as horrid as it looked.

This was not the kind of cooking Angeal did for Monday night dinners.

"Uh, what—"

"Is this Nibel casserole?" Cloud asked, excitement in his voice as he perked up in his chair.

The younger man's eyes flickered up to Angeal, who was already watching him with a warm smile. "Yes. Sephiroth found a recipe, and—"

"We spent most of last week perfecting it and hunting down ingredients," Genesis explained, jumping at the chance to take credit.

Zack eyed him doubtfully, but managed to bite his tongue again—he couldn't even remember the last time Genesis attempted to cook an actual meal, and there was a very good reason for that.

"Nibel wolf is somewhat tricky to procure in the area," Angeal added, shaking his head dismally as he lifted his fork. "Seph had a connection, luckily."

Cloud seemed too awed to be bothered by this statement, but it didn't quite sit well with Zack. The three were up to something, and he found his eyes darting between them as he tried to figure out  _what_. The only benefit to it was that Cloud had already relaxed a bit, clearly floored by their kind gesture.

"A connection…to get Nibel wolf?" Zack asked finally, scratching the back of his head.

"Yes," Sephiroth responded after a moment, studying Cloud carefully as he took the first bite at the table.

The blond lit up again, looking entirely enthused by the taste in his mouth—the stress and anxiety were completely overridden by a nostalgic pleasure, and that was enough to stop Zack from second guessing them further. "This is awesome!" the Third declared, taking another heaping mouthful immediately after. The tension in the air seemed to disintegrate as he chewed this time, though most of the attention was still focused on Cloud. He seemed to notice it as he swallowed, and quickly added, "It's almost like my mom's."

"Almost?" Angeal asked, frowning as he took his first bite. He didn't look nearly as pleased as Cloud, but he put on a brave face as he swallowed. "She gave us this recipe."

Zack had been playing with his food, pushing it around the plate with his for as he listened— _that_ statement caught his full attention though. "Huh?"

"Well, we found a recipe on our own, but it tasted…off during our trial runs at making it," Angeal explained slowly, only holding Zack's suspicious gaze for a moment before looking back to Cloud once more. "Seph found her contact information in your file, and we were able to get ahold of her to see—it turns out there's—"

"A secret ingredient," Cloud finished, a big smile plastered on his face. "Definitely doesn't taste the same without—"

"Yes, using the bone marrow in the…sauce," Angeal said, taking another bite with a small, polite smile.

Zack dropped his fork instantly, unsure which was more unsettling…the 'secret ingredient' or Angeal's ominous tone at the word 'sauce'…Somehow he found his eyes locked onto Genesis', who was looking particularly disgruntled as his fork clattered onto his plate as well—apparently the redhead hadn't been privy to all the details of the meal either. They both stared at one another a long moment before Zack erupted into laughter, taking Genesis with him as they ignored the slightly perturbed stare from Sephiroth, the meaningful glance from Angeal, and the confused look on Cloud's face.

"I'm sorry, Spike, but this is nasty," Zack told him when he was able to contain himself a bit, though he almost lost it again when he saw the still-disturbed look on Genesis' face. "Do you have anything else, 'Geal? Or more beer at least? Maybe if I can get drunk…"

It would take  _a lot_ of beer to get drunk as a SOLDIER, but something told him Angeal had stocked up for this particular occasion.

Cloud punched his arm before his mentor could respond, taking a sloppy, indignant bite as he glared at his boyfriend. "I've been eating this since I was a little kid, and—"

"And that explains why you were so socially inept when we met."

The blond opened his mouth to retort, but ended up staring at his boyfriend a long moment, waving his fork as he thought it over. "You may have a point," he concluded, drawing some short laughter from around the table this time. He shrugged passively, content to continue eating his meal and drinking his beer despite the fact everyone else was picking at their food a bit more skeptically.

Whatever their intentions were, Zack was actually relieved by the results—particularly when he continued drinking until the meal didn't taste quite as off to him. They'd managed to ease Cloud's nerves at least, which had been one of his goals for the evening. The conversation flowed freely after Angeal steered the topic away from their dinner, and though the blond didn't have  _much_ to add, he wasn't holding back either. Zack slipped his hand under the table at some point, letting it rest on Cloud's knee before giving it a gentle squeeze.

Maybe his plan wasn't so crazy. They could be a couple, and both be friends with these three.

The blond had cleared his plate twice before anyone else finished their first serving, and was listening with an uncanny interest as Angeal and Genesis bickered about some issue with the curtains in their offices—the curtains, it turned out, blocked the natural light from the windows and that wasn't good for the plants Angeal had set up in each of their offices. They looked nice though, and were a high quality fabric—plus the natural lighting created a massive glare on the redhead's computer screen with his current office arrangement.

It was all the kind of regular chatter he was used to hearing, and he knew it was mostly just a ploy for Genesis to convince Angeal to stop bringing plants to his office, but...it was nice seeing Cloud so engrossed in it all. The blond looked to Zack from the corner of his eye as he listened, returning the private smile that was sent in his direction.

He could definitely get used to nights like this, spending time with all the people who mattered most to him.

"You know, bone marrow is used as an ingredient more often than you think," Angeal revealed, long after the curtain discussion—he was clearing everyone's plates from the table as Genesis made sure to replenish everyone's drinks. That was when Zack noted Cloud's beer had a different label than his, which also seemed...odd. It didn't look like anything local, and he had the sneaking suspicion that if he asked, he'd be told it was some kind of imported Nibel beer.

"Don't wanna know that," Zack told him, shaking his head as he took another swig of his own drink. The meat hadn't actually been that bad, but the  _sauce_...the taste was still in his mouth. "Just know that if you want me to keep comin' to these dinners, I want stuff from your normal menu. That  _casserole_  was worse than ShinRa field rations..." And that was a sentence he was  _sure_ he'd never speak. Who'd have thought something could be worse than military grade, ready-to-eat meals?

"I'll keep that in mind," the elder SOLDIER reassured him, smiling in silent agreement as he moved toward the sink.

"Well, I really appreciate it," Cloud told him, looking to Sephiroth and Genesis after. "All of you—it's really nice that you took the time to find everything and make that. That cut of meat too…it must have cost a fortune to get the stomach."

Zack coughed, his drink going down the wrong way as he processed Cloud's words while Genesis looked like he was ready to spit his wine out in a fit of disgust.

" _Stomach?"_ the redhead practically shrieked, turning his sharp glare on Angeal. "Why didn't you tell me I was eating something so wretched?"

"That's friggin' nasty, Spike!" Zack exclaimed, simultaneously with Genesis' outburst.

"It's worth it because it soaks in all the flavor from the mountain creatures they eat—you know, with the stomach juices. It gets good and saturated, like a natural marinade," he explained, grinning widely as Zack began to chug his beer. "You know, it won't taste as good coming up the other way—I wouldn't drink  _too_ much."

He cursed himself for being a SOLDIER in that moment. "Don't think 'Geal has enough beer for me to get  _that_ drunk unfortunately," he said, setting his empty bottle down on the table.

"I was not aware the stomach was the traditional cut of meat for this recipe," Sephiroth responded, almost apologetic as he watched Cloud.

"I can see why you two were drawn together," Angeal said, returning to the room with his own drink and another smile. He winked at Cloud who was openly laughing at the reaction from the two men on either side of him. "I think Cloud just fooled you, Pup."

"Hey!" It was Zack's turn to punch Cloud's arm, his face contorting with pretend hurt. "You're embarrassing me in front of my friends."

"I can't believe you allowed me believe I ate  _stomach!"_  Genesis scowled, pointing an accusatory finger at Angeal and then Sephiroth.

"Cloud said it," Angeal responded innocently, taking a sip of his drink as he patted Sephiroth's shoulder with his free hand. "Don't blame Seph."

"That's what you get for calling me socially inept," Cloud said, not looking apologetic as Zack continued to pout. "And you know, wolf stomach is actually a delicacy in—"

"Don't wanna hear about it!" Zack cut in, waving his hands in defeat. "Can we please discuss anything other than whatever it is we just ate? Like maybe  _why_ you guys are trying so hard to impress my boyfriend?"

Three sets of concerned eyes landed on him, and he realized maybe he could have come up with a more tactful approach to ask the question that had been bugging him since they walked in the door. Normally he didn't like to beat around the bush, but in this case, the uneasy mood he'd created in the room wasn't worth being so blunt...especially not when everything had actually gone so well up to that point.

"We know how important he is to you," Angeal told him, slowly and carefully. "And we wanted you to know—and you, Cloud—that you never need to feel out of place around us. There's no reason we can't all enjoy each other's company, together or separately."

"And that's the only reason?" Zack asked, trying not to sound  _too_ hopeful as he looked to all his exes in turn. He couldn't shake the feeling there was more to it, but they each nodded their heads without giving any other indication that there was another plan. It wasn't like he wouldn't be able to tell—he knew their mannerisms too well. When he saw no reason to doubt them further, he relaxed in his chair, a more cheerful mood taking hold of him. "Thank you. That's how I want it to be."

"Me too," Cloud chimed in, smiling a bit as well. "And I really meant it about dinner—you didn't have to go out of your way like that, and pretend to like it and everything. It was really great, and I appreciate it, but you don't have to do stuff like that for me. I always enjoyed spending time with you before, and I'm just glad that doesn't have to change now."

"We all are," Angeal told him, visibly relieved by their responses.

 

* * *

 

 

"He just wanted me to play secretary for the day," Cloud explained, looking equally baffled as he recounted his morning as Genesis' personal helper to his boyfriend.

Zack hadn't even given him a chance to change out of his uniform, pouncing on him the moment he stepped into the his apartment. The blond grumbled about regretting giving Zack a keycard as he was pressed to the wall, but he didn't seem to mind when Zack started kissing his neck, hands roaming as he asked what happened that morning. He only stopped his advances when Cloud became too distracted, pulling back completely to prompt him to continue.

"Secretary?"

His next mission didn't begin until the following day, so most of his day had been spent thinking about what Genesis possibly had planned for his boyfriend...particularly after his lunch with Sephiroth. The rest of his afternoon had been spent planning what  _he_ had planned for his boyfriend that evening. If his exes—or, friends...that was a better way to think of them—if they went out of their way to do something nice for Cloud, it was only right that he did too. Maybe they made Cloud his favorite childhood dish, and maybe they bought him special beers...but  _he_ was ordering cheap pizza to go along with the cheap beer in his fridge. That plus all their favorite movies was going to make for a fun night. At first he'd been tempted to do something really special or different, but there was no need...he and Cloud's relationship worked best when they just did what they liked to do together, and the sweet and romantic moments between them popped up naturally in the process.

It wasn't a competition.

Unfortunately, he  _did_ still want to hear all about Cloud's day before they did any of that. And he needed to discuss a few things that had come up in his conversation with Sephiroth—it was better to get it all out of the way before their epic evening began.

Cloud looked openly disappointed as Zack stepped back, shrugging as he tried to answer. "Mostly that meant helping rearrange and organize his office all morning. We moved his desk and bookshelf, and basically everything that wasn't bolted down. Something about his bi-monthly redecoration process?"

Zack rolled his eyes, knowing that was just a cover—after going through all the trouble to win the curtain debate with Angeal, too. If they'd moved his desk, the glare on his computer screen wouldn't be present even without the pesky curtains...he could call it  _redecorating_ , but it sounded an awful lot like his way of appeasing Angeal without ever verbally agreeing to have plants in his office. Obviously that wasn't what he actually wanted from Cloud though...the curtain conversation hadn't happened until  _after_ he'd asked for the blond's assistance. It was probably just a convenient coincidence.

"Gen doesn't usually like people touchin' his stuff...not even his  _actual_ secretary."

"We talked a lot too."

"Oh?" Zack asked, grabbing Cloud's hands as he lead them to the Third's couch. "About what? Other Nibel delicacies, or—"

Cloud chuckled as he sat down, shaking his head. "Uh, definitely not. I don't think I could joke with him about things like that...he kinda freaks me out still, especially when we were alone. It was almost like he just wanted to intimidate me for a while, but then it sounded like he was only making sure you were happy. In his own, bizarre way."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. He asked about the kind of stuff we do together, and told me how they took you for granted…he warned me not to bring you to see any plays, or out to any gardening shops…and apparently to keep you away from doll shops? I was hoping  _you_ could explain that one to me."

"Long story," Zack muttered, a hand on the back of his neck as Cloud raised both brows. "Nope, not tellin'! You'd never let me live it down—if you wanna know, you'll hafta suck it up and pry it outta Gen. Bet he'd love to embarrass me, so I'm sure it won't be too hard."

"You know…the way he was talking, it sounds like he has a lot of regrets about how things went with you," Cloud said, staring down as he began unlacing his boots. The older SOLDIER tensed, already knowing where the conversation was going. It was basically what he'd been expecting though, so he just waited for it. "They love you still."

"Uh…yeah. They seem to think so," he admitted, frowning at the idea of it. He paused, waiting for Cloud to finish kicking off his boots entirely to make sure he had the blond's full attention. "I talked to Seph today—we had lunch, like I told you. Something was buggin' me about dinner still, and it's easier to get him to talk when I have him alone. It was just too much—the Nibel casserole, fancy beers…They all acted like it was nothing, and apparently I couldn't tell because they actually  _coached_ each other to hide their tells—that's why Seph kept his shoulders stiff, and Angeal didn't make the frowny face…I thought Gen was being too nice, but he's tough to read even on a normal day. Bastards."

He found himself chuckling anyway, however frustrating it may have been—just the idea of Genesis lecturing Angeal about being mindful of his eyebrows…or Angeal keeping firm hands on Sephiroth's shoulders to demonstrate the slight variance in his posture that always gave away his moods…or  _anyone_ trying to tell Genesis to act nice, but not  _too_ nice…It was all fairly comical for him to imagine. They had clearly done a good job though, since he hadn't quite been able to detect what they were really thinking at dinner.

"What were they doing then? It didn't seem like they were trying to run me off."

"They were scoping you out, so they wanted to make sure you were really comfortable. Seeing if maybe they overlooked something about you—if there was some kinda connection there after all," he explained, every word laced with discomfort. "They were actually impressed with you—joking around and loosening up so much under the circumstances. I was too, by the way," he said, lightening for just a moment as Cloud smiled through the awkward conversation. "But, yeah. Nothing. They like you a lot, but they aren't feeling like there's more. They're cool with spending more time with you, which is more than they can say about most people, but they're not into the idea of pursuing anything more." He waited for some kind of reaction, but Cloud seemed entirely indifferent about everything he'd said—not upset, not relieved...just attentive, like he was ready to hear more. "I guess enjoying Nibel casserole is kind of a deal breaker for Gen. I'd say it's a deal breaker for me too, but I'm not lettin' you go _that_  easily. I'll draw the line at wolf stomach though—fair warning."

"Damn it…I'm gonna have to change our dinner plans," Cloud muttered, smirking as Zack narrowed his eyes. They both laughed after a moment, the weight of the conversation briefly removed from the air...it returned as they stopped though. "Are you disappointed?"

"Disappointed?"

"That they're not interested in me?"

"Are you interested them?" Zack countered, arching an eyebrow. Cloud shook his head honestly before looking down, only to have Zack reach out for his chin and tilt his head back up. "Hey…I'm  _glad_ you don't wanna be with them. If you did, I dunno what I'd do. Maybe you woulda balanced it out for me, and been that thing that was missing, but…the more time I spend with just you, the more sure I am about this. Not that I had any doubts to start, but…this just feels right. And I dunno how many different ways you want me to tell you that I don't wanna share this…but I don't. I just want you."

"Do you still love them?"

"No," Zack told him, shrugging off the remaining discomfort he felt. Thinking it and saying it had felt like such a betrayal of everything he'd been so sure about for so long, but there was no point in denying that his feelings just weren't the same anymore. That didn't invalidate what they had once been, or impact what he felt now...It was just the truth, and the look in Cloud's eyes was enough to convince him that it was okay. "Not as anything other than friends—they're always gonna be special to me, but that relationship is done. I love  _you_ and I trust you, and I know you love me…I hope you trust me too."

"Of course I do."

"Good. They're gonna be a regular part of our lives, so we may as well get used to it—no need to have these discussions every time I talk to one of them or something happens. We'll just talk it out now, and get on with our night!"

"Sounds like a good plan," Cloud agreed, smiling broadly as Zack reached for his hand and tugged him in closer. "You said we were talking—" A swift kiss cut him off, and he shook his head slowly.

"Yeah, but I was mostly hoping you'd wanna just make out instead. What else did you wanna talk about?"

"Uh… _Sephiroth_ telling you he still loves you, and you telling him…?"

"I said, hey, did you see his ass? I can't say no to that—" He let out a loud 'ow!' as Cloud whacked him. He held the Thirds hands to prevent him from striking again, stealing another kiss as he laughed. "Don't ask questions like that if you don't want ridiculous answers. He told me the truth about last night, and I told him what I told you—that I'm  _glad_ they're not interested. And you know what he told me next?"

"What?"

"Their relationship actually got  _better_  after I left."

" _What_?"

"I know, right? I couldn't wrap my head around it either—anyone's relationship being better without me!" It was a good thing he still had Cloud's hands in his grip, because he could tell the blond was ready to give him another playful whack—he settled on an eye roll instead. "I guess when I left, they got worried that maybe I wasn't the only one who was havin' problems. They got kinda worried about each other, and decided to mix up a buncha things. Keep it fresh, ya know? Except they all  _hated_ the stuff they tried—new dates and whatever...Stuff that's really not  _them,_ " he explained, trying not to laugh at the image of Angeal bringing Sephiroth to Midgar's annual carnival.

Apparently the silver haired general hadn't quite understood its purpose—according to his retelling of the 'date', they'd spent most the outing learning the various games, spending an exorbitant amount of gil...and all they'd managed to win was a small stuffed moogle. Despite not being thrilled about wasting so much gil, Angeal was actually proud of the silly toy...they'd both agreed to give it to Genesis though, who had been out of town that particular weekend.

Zack had actually gone to the carnival with Cloud as well, but they hadn't run into the others...they had a great time, going on  _every_ ride and dominating all the games the place had to offer. At one point they'd started giving away their prizes to random children, unable to hold them all—Zack had insisted that Cloud keep the giant stuffed chocobo he'd won though. It was massive enough to count as a piece of furniture in his tiny apartment.

He snapped out of the memory, a goofy smile on his face as he realized Cloud had been staring at him with amusement the entire time his mind wandered.

"Uh, it's a long story. It basically involves them doin' a buncha stuff  _I'd_ like, but with each other," Zack told the blond, which only seemed to increase his interest. The carnival was really just one example of a much more extensive list of random dates among the trio, each equally hilarious to him. "It was all stuff you'd like too, that we do together. But, yeah, mostly not great for _them_  to do with each other. Seph said it took 'em a couple weeks to confess to each other that they were happier with their normal routine, and that was that. Turns out it really was just me who didn't fit in right...nothin' needed to change between them."

Cloud frowned. "How is that possible? You always talked like you were so happy back then."

"I was happy, but I wasn't connecting the same way anymore. That, and they kinda started dumping me with all the crap they didn't wanna do with each other. Now they split it all up—not a set schedule, but they try to rotate who goes with who to things that they don't all enjoy, and since it was just  _me_ for so long…it's like they have a renewed interest in the stuff they don't like, I guess."

"And they think because they figured it out that you might be…good with them again?"

"Maybe it was always in the back of their heads, but…the way I see it, I'm the happiest I've been in years—maybe ever. And so are  _they_. Why mess with that? The only things I miss are the things I told you about before—the things that make them great friends. And when I bugged Seph enough, he agreed that was the kinda stuff he missed about me too. And then I told him  _back off_ …but, nicely."

"Back off?"

"Yeah. I'm tellin' the others too, next time I see 'em. I know you're not  _mine_ …that I don't own you, or get to control who's lookin', but they're my friends, and I'm not good with them scheming like that. I just told him I'm not interested, and I need them to be honest with us up front if something's goin' on insteada force feedin' me crap to get on your good side."

"But if you know what went wrong, and so do they…"

"Hindsight doesn't change the fact that I'm in love with  _you_."

"It's just crazy to think you'd love me and not  _them_."

"Not really. You feel it between us too, right?" Cloud nodded his head. "Could you imagine feeling like this for anyone else?" He shook his head. "Then we feel the same. It should be pretty easy for you to understand."

"Yeah..."

"Good," he said, grinning widely as Cloud leaned in to kiss him this time. "I really wish you'd stop sayin' things like that—thinkin' that you're less than them or whatever. I know I can get kinda caught up in the moment, and that I don't always stop and tell you how much you mean to me, but...I thought it was obvious by now."

Cloud's worried expression quickly shifted into a guilty one. "It  _is_ obvious. I just...I dunno. It hasn't all sunk in still, but I'm getting there."

"What else is buggin' you? I can tell there's more, and it's okay. We've got a hot date tonight, so I'd rather get the serious talk done now."

There was a long pause, and he found himself rubbing Cloud's arm absentmindedly as he waited for whatever else he had to say or ask.

"You don't think in three more years you'll be sick of me too?"

It was spoken so quietly and seriously, but he still almost laughed in response. Maybe it was a reasonable thought, but it was absurd as far as he was concerned. "Not a chance. And don't say it like that—I didn't get  _sick_ of them, it just didn't work out for us. It's not like you've never been there…you have exes, too. I seem to remember you being into it before it went south."

"Yeah, but never anything that lasted as long as your relationship. And definitely not as serious."

Zack nodded his head, remembering Cloud's stories through the years. He mostly just dated a lot because he didn't have time to be  _too_  serious...and that was only because he spent most of his free time training or hanging out with Zack.

"I'm lucky with how it's all going now—that they still wanna be friends, with both of us. That I get you as a best friend  _and_ boyfriend. I guess I know better than most people that forever's guaranteed with relationships, but…we just hafta focus on the positive. On being happy, and keepin' each other that way. Just 'cause I can't predict the future doesn't mean I can't tell how solid this is, with you and me."

"Would you ever go back into something like that? Not with them necessarily, but in general?"

"You mean…with multiple people?" he asked, raising both brows as Cloud nodded. "I mean, if we came to a point where we met someone and we both connected with that person, and they connected with us…why not? I don't see it happening, and I'm not exactly lookin' or hoping that we meet someone…but, yeah, if it happened I'd be open to it. Having more than one boyfriend wasn't the reason anything went wrong—anything that happened with me and them was stuff that could happen in any relationship over time."

"Even ours?"

Zack hesitated a moment, unsure how to put it delicately. "I don't wanna freak you out, but even the best relationships aren't perfect. We're in this great, perpetually happy phase, and I hope it lasts forever—I'll do whatever I can to make sure it does, but...realistically, we'll have ups and downs eventually. One day you might wake up and tell me you don't like my morning breath, and I'll be so offended that I won't kiss you goodbye when you go off to work."

Cloud narrowed his eyes. "That happened this morning…"

"My point exactly. Ups and downs," he explained solemnly, shaking his head as Cloud stifled his laughter. "And one day I'll tell you that I'm glad you finally have your own place, but mine's  _way_  nicer, and it's really a shame to cram into your tiny bed when I have—"

"We talked about this last night!" Cloud cut in, elbowing his boyfriend's side playfully. "I think you're  _trying_ to pick a fight with me."

"I'm just sayin', things aren't always gonna be perfect with us, so we may as well not bicker now. We'll spend tonight at  _my_ apartment after we're done talkin' here."

The blond couldn't bite back a smile. "Fine. But eventually I may get disgruntled that you pressure me to cave in about these things."

"I'll find a way to make it up to you every time," he promised, winking as Cloud leaned into him. "Are we good?"

"Yeah."

"No more questions? Doubts? Worries? We can go track down a fortune teller if you're  _really_ concerned, but you should know—I'm not,  _at all._  I learned a lot in that relationship, and I'm way too in love with you to let us fall apart. I missed all the warning signs with them, but...that's just not gonna happen with you. I'm more sure than ever that the reason that all happened was because  _this_ was meant to be."

"Whoever said you weren't romantic was a liar," Cloud muttered, leaning more comfortably into Zack.

"Who said that?"

"Uh, well…Genesis  _may_ have also listed some of your not so great qualities this morning. In the interest of making sure I could handle being with you, apparently."

Zack groaned, not really wanting to know what was said, but unable to refrain from asking anyway. "Like what?"

"Nothing I didn't already know," he responded with a shrug, trailing his fingers along Zack's thigh as he started to list a few. "You snore when you sleep on your sides. You get  _really_ grumpy when you get less than five hours of sleep, even though you try not to show it. You have no appreciation for the fine arts. You can't use a fire materia to save your life—he also said you can't light a match, which I thought was pretty funny. You—"

"Okay, I get it! And ya know, I could tell you a lotta not so great things about Gen, too. And I  _can_ light a match, it was just  _one_ time when—" He cut himself off, calming down in a hurry as Cloud laughed into him. "You were there for that."

"Yeah."

"I told them the story after, and he never let it go. He's a show off when it comes to fire, but ya know, I can light one without a match or materia, and I bet he wouldn't even no where to begin. He'd probably call the whole thing  _primitive._ "

"He also said you're really bad at planning surprises."

Zack scoffed, not agreeing with that assessment at all. "That's because he's too nosy for his own good and figures things out. Seph always refused to go to undisclosed locations without his damn sword, and that kinda ruined the fun for me, and Angeal was too good at convincing me to just let him take care of everything and do all the planning. I'm sure I can redeem myself with you—just wait til your birthday! I already have big plans."

"Uh—"

He leaned down close enough to whisper, "I can't tell you more, it's a surprise."

"I kinda guessed that much."

"Y'know, they really do like you. Gen might be warnin' you off and talkin' like a jerk, but it's just an act. He doesn't really mean anything by it. It'd be cool if this turns into you seeing them without me around—gettin' to know them like I do," Zack encouraged, his smile growing as Cloud offered no objection to the thought. "I know you already saw them sometimes, but you never really… _planned_ to hang out with them when I was with them. It was always if you ran into one of them, or if you were over when they came to see me."

"I told you I liked being around them—I wasn't just saying that," Cloud assured him slowly. "If they wanna put in the effort, so do I."

"Considering the fact that Seph hasn't cooked in  _years_ , and still went through the trouble to help Angeal with that casserole, and Gen even  _ate_ some of it…I'd say they're willing to try."

"I still can't believe they went through all that trouble…And for nothing."

"It wasn't nothing. So what if they're not into you? That doesn't mean they don't like you as a person, or that they regret doing somethin' nice for you. They still want us to be happy—even if that means separately from them. And ya know, you deserve a nasty casserole from time to time if that's what you like."

Cloud grumbled out his annoyance with his boyfriend, only causing Zack to laugh and try to swoop in for an awkward, side hug on the couch. Two hands pushed back against him in protest, but the First wasn't quite so easily dissuaded. A hug from Zack wasn't something anyone could really say no to, and soon the blond's arms were squished up between them as Zack squeezed him closer. These days Cloud was strong enough to put up a much bigger fight if he  _really_ didn't want to be caught in one of Zack's signature, suffocating hugs...the lack of resistance seemed a good indication that he was actually enjoying it, despite whatever he was mumbling.

"Why hasn't Seph cooked in years?" the blond asked when he was finally released from the death-grip, though one of Zack's arms remained draped loosely around him. "I can't imagine him being bad at  _anything_."

"Uh…he's not, trust me. At cooking at least—there's plenty of stuff he's not great with though. There was just this one time when he kinda took something Angeal said too seriously, way back before I was technically with them. I was still there, but just as friend then. He'd made this awesome dinner, and 'Geal joked that  _he_ was supposed to be the best cook in the group—he meant nothing by it, but Seph decided to let cooking be Angeal's thing."

Cloud blinked in surprise. "That's actually kinda nice of him."

"Yeah, he'd never admit it, and probably doesn't even realize it...but he's actually a sweet guy," Zack said, a fond smile on his face as he watched Cloud's reaction—the blond had been a member of Silver Elite back when they first met, which basically meant he knew nothing other than creepy facts about Sephiroth at the time. Every time he learned something new these days he always seemed so impressed. "I think he just already has the ShinRa reputation as being the best, so he doesn't like to one up the guys in their personal stuff, ya know? Gen's more likely to care about crap like that, but once Seph decides that's how it's gonna be, it's basically too late. Even after 'Geal  _told_ him it was a joke, he always came up with excuses not to cook after that. Except for you, apparently, and your disgusting casserole."

"I kinda feel like I should do something really nice for them now."

"Like what?"

"Well…I can't really cook anything they'd be willing to eat, but maybe…" He was already at a loss, tilting his head as he waited for suggestions from Zack.

"They didn't do it so you'd do somethin' nice in return. It's not like you owe them anything for it...Just be their friend, and that'll be enough."

"I don't really know how to  _do_ that."

"You're a great friend. Trust me, I know. I was your best friend for  _years_. You're not that awkward kid anymore—I've seen you with your new neighbors, and the other new Thirds. Do whatever you normally do—be yourself, and it'll be fine."

"Even back then with you,  _I_ never made the plans. You always just showed up and pounced on me, or dragged me around. I wasn't calling you up and saying let's go play that new game, or let's—"

"Uh, you won't have to worry about that. If you've gotten permission to help Gen redecorate, you're in—the guy's not gonna leave you alone. And don't tell Gen, but...from what I hear, Seph actually  _liked_ Nibel casserole, so I wouldn't be surprised if you can get him to make it for you more often. He's not big on going out, so don't worry about it—he likes that kinda stuff. And Angeal's easy. If you try to tell me you're afraid to approach him, I'm just gonna laugh at you."

Cloud tried to look offended, but the big grin on Zack's face was obviously too much for him. "He  _is_  kinda nice."

" _Kinda_?"

"Okay, he's  _really_ nice. I always thought that though, and I still didn't really go out of my way to see him."

Zack frowned, but seemed to understand nonetheless. "It's not like we can't hang out all together, or just us three. And you don't hafta do anything you don't want—if it turns out your idea of friendship with them is just through me, and not on your own, that's fine, Spike. I'm just glad you're so good with all this. Breakups…I've known a lotta guys who've had bad ones, and sometimes they never even speak to their exes again. I can't handle that with these three—they mean too much to me. You're the only thing that's kept me together these last few months while they were workin' it out and avoiding me. I know it's not really a normal thing to try to be buddies with your boyfriend's exes, but…it means a lot that you're willing to try. That you understand."

"I'm not just doing it for you," Cloud promised. The assurance in his tone was enough to convince Zack that not only was it true, but that it would all work out for the best. "Now c'mon—you said something about a hot date?"

 

* * *

 

 

"Is it weird that my boyfriend is out with your boyfriend, and I'm hangin' out with you guys?" Zack asked, nudging Angeal's arm until his mentor tore his eyes away from the TV to acknowledge him.

They were sitting on the couch again, Sephiroth on the other side of Angeal—the two older SOLDIERs had their hands interlocked and resting comfortably on Sephiroth's knee. Zack was swaying back and forth where he sat, moving in and out of Angeal's personal space as he waited for a response—it wasn't until Sephiroth paused the movie that Angeal considered the question fully.

Zack had already decided it wasn't weird at all, but he still wanted to know what the other two men in the room were thinking. Another six months had rolled by, and while things had been somewhat shaky initially, it all felt very...normal now. The way he'd hoped things would be between the five. And if he were right about that, then bringing it up wouldn't be an issue.

"Not really," Angeal concluded, after eyeing Zack for a long minute. "Should it be?"

Should it be weird that his boyfriend was doing something that  _he_ used to do as a  _date_ with his ex-boyfriend? Maybe. Was it actually weird?

"Nah," he replied, shrugging like it was simple.

It  _felt_ simple, no matter how complicated it all seemed on the surface. The difference between two guys on a date and two guys out as friends was significant, even if it were differentiate from the outside. All the little, yet important details that made the difference...their intentions, thoughts, glances, touches. It wasn't always something tangible, but the five seemed to have reached an understanding. No one was searching for any deeper connection outside of their own relationship, and everyone was pleased with what their friendships had become. With that in mind, there was no reason to be jealous or confused about Cloud going to a play with Genesis—their video game excursion the previous afternoon was more of a date than whatever Cloud was doing without him.

"If you are already certain, why would you ask?"

Zack let out a long  _hmmm_  as he considered Sephiroth's question. He wasn't really sure why he'd chosen to bring it up at all, let alone now. It wasn't exactly the first time they'd been in a situation like this, but the timing felt right somehow. The mood in the room was relaxed, and that seemed like a good enough reason for him.

"Guess we just never... _said_ it. It's happening more and more now—Gen's always draggin' him around."

And Genesis wasn't the only one.

It turned out Sephiroth not only enjoyed Nibel casserole, but was also open to trying more foods from Cloud's home region. The two were consistently making time in their schedules to meet for lunch or dinner and try new things together—for every Nibel delicacy Sephiroth tried, the blond would venture an attempt at a new Wutain dish, which was Sephiroth's favorite type of cuisine—none of their boyfriends would ask to join unless it was a Wutain day.

Angeal actually spent more time with Cloud than  _he_ did some weeks. His mentor had found himself a new assistant in the Third, after his previous assistant had been promoted and overqualified to maintain the post. Apparently Genesis had praised the blond's organizational skills after the day Cloud spent helping out in his office, and that recommendation was more than enough to convince Angeal that Cloud was right for the job.

At first the news had startled Zack—not because he didn't want Cloud spending so much time with Angeal, but because being Angeal's assistant was much more than a secretarial position. He accompanied the First on all missions, and the missions Angeal went on...all three of his friends lead the most difficult missions available when they weren't handling issues around the base. After the initial shock though, he'd realized it was a good thing—Cloud knew how to handle himself, and if anyone could be trusted to look out for him, it was Angeal.

Plus, it wasn't like  _he_ could go on missions with his boyfriend—their relationship was public now, and the fraternization policy was clear; they could be together, but they couldn't work together. Not directly at least, where their ranks put one in a position of authority over the other.

"Cloud is doing us all a favor by indulging him."

"Indulging? He  _likes_ it—can you believe it? I thought he was suckin' up at first, but he actually has fun. I knew he liked books sometimes, but I never woulda pegged him for a theatre kid."

"It's normal for different people to have different hobbies and preferences—you shouldn't expect to have everything in common with him."

"I don't expect that. It'd be boring if we did…it's just about balancing it out. I learned with you guys."

Sephiroth leaned forward just slightly enough so he could look past Angeal to meet Zack's eyes. "I would appreciate if you allowed him to continue attending with Genesis."

"Allow him? It's not like I'm in charge of him. If he wants to go, he can go—it's up to him," Zack insisted, laughing a bit at the notion. It was a relief that Cloud  _did_ want to go, really. Exactly what he wanted from the start of his relationship…for Cloud to get along with the three other important men in his life. And he  _did_ —genuinely, rather than any kind of obligation. "You must really hate theatre night to ask though, huh?"

"It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't cycle through the same shows every couple months," Angeal muttered, shaking his head as Sephiroth smirked slightly in silent agreement. "But Gen loves it, so I'll go with him if it's bothering you or Cloud."

"Nah, he likes it," Zack repeated, reassuringly this time.

He was admittedly glad that  _he_ no longer had to go either—he had a lot more fun with Genesis when they were doing other things. Being friends instead of boyfriends definitely had its advantages. Whenever his schedule lined up with any of the guys, they always had a great time together instead of just one of them having a great time while the other sucked it up to be nice.

Of course, Cloud was still the first person he tried to spend his free time with...and typically they didn't split off and do separate things when they were both free for the evening—this night was just an odd exception, as Zack's mission had been cancelled at the last minute, and the play tickets had been purchased weeks in advance. Even if that hadn't happened though, he wouldn't have thought twice about it. Being together didn't mean they had to spend every available hour of every day together, no matter how much he wanted to be around his boyfriend whenever he could...it was comforting to know that Cloud had a life outside of work and their relationship—that he wasn't sitting around bored or lonely while Zack was out of town or busy.

"Plus, it gives me the chance to watch horror movies with you guys!" Zack added, a big grin on his face as he eyed his friends. "Cloud hates them—he'll watch with me, but mostly he just curls up and tries not to pay attention. I end up missin' half the movie 'cause I get distracted tryin' to scare him." And then apologizing after succeeding one too many times—those big blue eyes weren't meant to be filled with annoyance, and he was more than happy to say or do whatever else to chase that look away.

"I can only imagine," Angeal muttered, a fond smile on his face as he ruffled his former student's hair. "You two are happy, then?"

"Yeah," Zack said, the single word not even grazing the surface of how true it was.

The only thing he had to add to it was a smile though—the same smile that always grew on his face when he thought about Cloud.

Things were still better than ever in his relationship, and he was sure he was  _still_ in the butterfly phase even after so many months had gone by. He couldn't think about Cloud without a giddy feeling accompanying his smile, and that feeling was showing no signs of relenting. Even the occasional spat was more of a joke than a serious issue, and that was exactly how he preferred it to be.

It seemed like all the heavy topics about the SOLDIER trio were behind them now that so much time had passed and Cloud had grown closer to each of them. Close enough that Monday night dinners had become a ritual for all five of them, and one they both looked forward to—under the stipulation that Angeal would cook from a Zack-approved menu of course.

More often than not, the private smiles and knowing glances would lead to he and Cloud stepping out early, but that didn't make it any less enjoyable. If anything, it was perfect...spending time catching up with three friends who he didn't always get to see on busy weeks, and still getting alone time with Cloud. And he  _knew_ they appreciated the alone time with each other as well—for every side glance Cloud shot in his direction, he witnessed one between his friends as well.

He caught one of those moments now as he looked to Angeal, well aware of the glance his mentor and Sephiroth had just exchanged. "You guys are good, too?" he asked, already knowing the answer to that question as well.

"Our relationship is stronger than it's been in years—you taught us a valuable lesson when you left," Angeal responded, Sephiroth nodding in agreement.

"I'm glad this is all so easy now, even just talking about it. Those first few months after were…"

He shook his head at the memory—they had been some of the best and worst few months of his life, simultaneously. The thrill of being with Cloud, and the loss of the men he'd been clinging to for so long. Everything was so much better now that they had come to terms with the situation and balanced their separate relationships with their friendships.

A firm hand landed on his shoulder, pulling him back from his thoughts with practiced ease.

"I meant it when I said I'll always be here for you. Even then, if you'd needed me, I would have been there."

"It has become easier with time," Sephiroth noted thoughtfully, much to Zack's relief. "I believe you were correct...we are best suited as friends."

"I agree, Pup. Everything worked out for the best this way."

He'd assumed the three had gotten over their old feelings for him, but the reassurance that they agreed about everything...it filled him with a sense of closure that he didn't even realize he was seeking. The feeling prompted him to let out a content sigh as he leaned back into the cushions again, his smile not fading in the slightest.

"I'm glad we got that all out in the open."

"Me too," Angeal agreed, leaning back as well.

"If we are speaking freely, perhaps now would be an acceptable time to mention—"

"Ah, maybe not tonight, Seph," Angeal interjected, shaking his head slightly as Sephiroth stared at him curiously. "We'll save that for when Cloud and Gen are here."

Zack looked from Angeal to Sephiroth, wanting to ask, but trusting his gut not to press it—usually it was better to defer to Angeal's judgment about things like this. Sephiroth had already reached for the remote again, hitting the play button before settling more comfortably in his spot as well. If they wanted to finish their movie night, they were running out of time—they only had another hour or so before their respective boyfriends would return, raving about whatever play they had seen as they raided Sephiroth's wine rack. Genesis would ramble about the content of the show, while Cloud would be focused on about the production itself...and even if no one else wanted to listen, they'd get drawn into it regardless. From his experience with plays, it was bound to be a boring discussion, but...

Actually, he couldn't wait to hear all about it.


End file.
